You Say It's Your Birthday

I cant believe Winter is 12, what happened to my sweet nice little girl? She is growing up way to fast and thinks she is even older than she is, so sad one day she will wish she was 12 again. I am very amazed at the girl that she is turning into though, She is very funny and very smart and has an amazing ability to make friends and make people feel welcome. Not a talent I share. She is a beautiful dancer as well and really puts her all into that, I love to watch her dance and hope she continues to work as hard at achieving all she wants in life as she has this year in dance. I wasn't sure what life was going to hold for her and I just 12 years ago but I am very pleased with where things have gone and the amazing girl that she is. Happy Birthday Winter, I love you

Our first picture together

(the one that mike says it notflattering for me, always so sweet.)

Winter getting ready to go home from hospital

Such a cute baby, so funny and sweet, wonder what happened.

Winters first dance class, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Zarley and Winter, normal interaction for them

One of winters famous self portraits,

There are 33 others where this one came from.

answers...

so here are my answers...

1. my happy place is the beach, which includes the beach of Lake Powell.

2. Tom Sellick (of course), Ed Harris, Val Kilmer. apparently I like old men

3. Duh Real all the way none of that fake shit at our house.

4. Moon Dance (Van Morrison), Eagle and a Hawk (John Denver), Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond). I am really aging myself, and sadly aging myself beyond my years.

5. 16 almost 17. that's right folks I was almost 17.

6. There are 2 one when I puked while having a c-section (Owen totally creepy feeling), More recently Zarley yelling Bitch in the Dr. office.

7. Red, an easy one

8. Msc, (taking pics of documents with some big machine thing, or babysitting I guess.

9. Mella was her nameo

10. I want to go on an Alaskan cruise and don't know why, I really prefer the heat.

A little quiz, who knows me best?

So I am testing everyone to see who knows me best, so who ever dares to leave your answers as a comment...

1. where is my happy place?
2. Name 3 celebs I think are hot?
3. Christmas trees real or fake?
4. Name 3 of my favorite songs any 3
5. How old was I when I had my first kiss?
6. Whats my most embarrassing moment?
7. Whats my favorite color?
8. what was my first job?
9. what was the name of my imaginary friend?
10. where do I want to go on vacation for some unknown reason?

Stay tuned and I will post my answers, and we will see who knows me best.

Thanksgiving

So Thanksgiving is one of my very favorite holidays, and it seems like it gets skipped over a lot of the time. I hate when Christmas music is playing before Thanksgiving, it seems like we are turning into ungrateful people and this is a much needed holiday in this day in age.

I feel like lately I have been mostly focusing on the negative in my life so this post is something I really needed to do because there really is a lot I am thankful for.
I am thankful for Mike and our family, and how hard he works to support us.
I amt thankful for all my kids even though we have had a rough time of it lately I wouldn't trade any of them in. I am thankful for Winter and all the help she gives me. Sometimes it feels like she is co-parenting with me and although I appreciate it I know I don't tell her enough. I am thankful forZarley, her stubbornness and her quirky personality. Although right now it feels like her stubbornness is going to be the death of me some days I am hoping it will take her far in life. She has real determination that could take her wherever she wants to go. I am thankful for Owen because he is just sweet and mellow and doesn't rock the boat. He is also funny. I am thankful for Xavier because he is my baby and such a cute little baby. He knows what he wants and docent seem like he is going to be one to settle for anything less.
I am very thankful for my in-laws they are always taking my kids to do new and fun things. Like Disney on Ice or trans Siberian orchestra, or Wheeler farm for whatever holiday thing they have going on. They take my kids everywhere and give them so many opportunities they wouldn't otherwise have. Not to mention all they have and continue to do for Mike and myself.
I am very thankful for my parents and the determination to get through things that they have shown me, they have proven that two people can get through any trial or tribulation if they really want to. I am so glad for the memories and traditions that they gave us growing up they have set a firm foundation for all of us on how we think holidays should go that's for sure.
I am thankful for the country we live in and the freedoms we enjoy and for all the military men and women who put their lives on the line for us to keep those freedoms.
I really do love Thanksgiving and all that it should mean and hope that everyone has a good holiday and remembers all that we have to be thankful for.

The Fabulous life of me cont...

Just some random pictures from times the kids got there hands on the camera.

Zarley and Owens self portrait

Zar taking a pictue of Xavier

I am very happy to report that we have been having a easier time of it lately,(knocking on wood right now).I'm not sure if it's a phase or the I-pod thing at night working or a mixture of it all. Don't get me wrong life isn't all birthdays and bbq's around here but its tolerable I'm not ready to hop in my car ALONE and drive away. We have had a few melt downs and some naughty words but everything is mellowing out a bit. Ahh I feel I can breath for a minute.

I am so proud of Winter right now, she set a goal to earn $250.00 by the 28th and she only had about 2 1/2 weeks to do it and she did it. Thanks to her Grandma Sharon and her Grandad who gave her some jobs to do and also paid her handsomely to do them. She is also proud of herself for accomplishing this and that is nice to see. She also has put her heart and sole into dance this year and has been working really hard, I can tell she is tired, but she doesn't give up and that also makes me very proud. Now if I could just get her to clean her room.
Owen Has been great lately although he seems to be crying this loud screaming whine a lot more and it is super annoying. But for the most part seems to always be the mellow one who doesn't upset things to much.

Xavier, still my hip growth that makes monkey signs, oh so annoying. But he is stinking cute.

I had a Revelation today too, I know why my house is always in such chaos and even though I feel like I am always cleaning and never getting anywhere.. Friday night I start to feel like things are finally looking organized etc.. then sat am at 6:30 I go to work, and work all day same thing on Sunday and when I come home complete disaster, So here's the Revelation.. Monday comes and I start all over again playing catch up to get back to where I was on Friday night, so annoying.

This week in my fabulous life...

So this week in my fabulous life, Things aren't getting much better but I'm still trudging through. Zar isn't getting much better with the whole potty mouth thing, or her fits, she screamed in my mother in laws face this weekend which was embarrassing to say the least, her fits are getting worse those that she use to save for home are starting to appear in public and around others. So we went back on track this week so not expecting things to get any better any time soon unfortunately. Tried chili powder in her mouth and as I anticipated it didn't work. The result was her screaming in a demon like voice that I was a bitch and stupid blah blah blah. why was she having a fit you ask? oh because I wouldn't give her ice cream because she had been saying bad words. Not only was she screaming and swearing but she was spitting everywhere. Bedtime has gotten to be quite a task as well she told me that bedtime isn't easy for her because she hears things at night and cant go to sleep. So Monday night she was screaming and crying about again ice cream I calmly laid by her rubbing her back til she fell asleep. That was very difficult.
Tuesday, oh what a day. It started off terribly which was just the beginning if only I had known I think I would have stayed in bed all day. Zarley wouldn't get up or get dressed I tried several times to put her clothes on her myself but with no success, luckily Mike got home and he held her while I dressed. Pretty sad when it takes team work to dress your 5 year old. Later that day her friend Jaxon was over playing and Canyon was over while his mom was at dance and they all decided to give each other haircuts. Oh and Xavier as well and they cut Owens sheets to shreds. What was I doing you ask? Folding laundry trying to do one of the weekly or daily chores of a mother on a rare moment where someone isnt in my face whining and crying for something, thinking the kids were playing nicely. I asked them what they were doing and they said nothing. Stupid me I believed them. Xavier has been horrible lately he just wants me to hold him all the time, him and his little blanky. So since he wasn't screaming and holding onto me like a little monkey sounds and all, I thought I would get something done, Big Big mistake. Canyon got the worst of it, his hair all had to be chopped off and he now has a super short haircut, and Jaxon has a big chunk out of his bangs, looks great. Owen has almost a bald spot to fix it the only thing I think that would work is a buzz, not going to happen. Zarley just has a lot of uneven parts in the back still debating a stacked bob to fix hers. Xavier well his is all uneven to. Great mom right. The rest of the night was all right until bedtime I laid down by Zarley again and I think I fell asleep first.
Wednesday still struggling on how to handle the swearing and fit throwing, no consequence seems to phase her, I've tried throwing away toys when she says bad words, she just goes and gets a barbie herself and throws it away, tried giving her jobs to do, she doesn't care, tried the chili powder, resulted in worse swearing and spitting. I'm at a loss right now and starting to feel like throwing in the towel.. I don't know what is going on with her and having a hard time figuring it out. I asked her today what would help her be nicer and not say bad words. she said: "Not ever going to school again."
We are trying something new tonight for bedtime I gave her my I-pod and some headphones so she wouldn't hear the noises, so I guess we will see how it goes, She is still awake right now but no noise coming from her room.
So any ideas anyone? I am listening. until next time...

The Fabulous life of me cont...

This week in my fabulous life it wasn't so crazy thank goodness.
11/9 Monday, quiet day thinking oh my life is calming down, yea
11/10 Tuesday oh not so quiet, it was observation for parents at dance, wow what a treat! Zarley couldn't have been more poorly behaved. She butted in line she pulled peoples hair she interrupted, very embarrassing, Tiffany said she isn't always like that but wow what a treat. A little later we are talking about the fact that she has a Dr. appt the next day, big mistake she flipped out. Screaming and yelling in her little raspy voice, " I am not going to the Dr. ever again never never again. No one is looking at my tonsils you stupid butt@$@# I am not going" all while throwing things around. Such a treat.
11/11 wed Not much better. Cute Carlye offers to take her to backyard adventures with her, then last minute also takes Owen (thanks Carlye your the best). When I arrive to pick them up to head to the E.N.T. what to my surprise but a flip out from Zarley, it can't be she doesn't do this. (ha Ha ). So she cries all the way to the Dr. and then has to be carried into the office. Now we are seeing the doctor, she isn't flipping out but she isn't cooperating. My sweet Owen offers to have his looked at so then Zarley will let the physician asst. look, great news she needs her tonsils out. Wahoo right! a week or so of Zarley miserable can't wait. Oh gee I wonder how much this will set us back. What more good news they will take out the last tube that's been in there for 3 years while she is under, Fantastic that shouldn't add much to our bill right. Would you like cash for that? Now the actual Dr. is in a male have I mentioned she isn't really fond of males. I have to hold her for him to do the exam, life is so wonderful.. So we leave and she decide to inform us that she is not having surgery. Well this ought to be a fun few weeks before it happens she is already stressing. Now on our way home she decides she is hungry and she wants Ihop, and is having a screaming fit because we are not going. hmm shocker. Later Tiffany is paying Winter for some teaching she has done and Zarley decides that she wants some money $79.00 to be exact another fit ridiculous fit for $79.00. Where the hell did this number come from? I have no idea. Also Xavier not feeling to well and just wants me to hold him all day, that really makes for a productive day.
11-12 Mostly a quiet day at first, a few fights with friends and some evil yelling and mean talk,so unlike her. Later Xavier is crying still not feeling up to par and she tells him to be quiet unless he wants her to break his arm? Are you kidding me where does this stuff come from. She is kicking and screaming at the door because I won't let her in,don't mind its 5:00 and I'm finally taking a shower for the day, apparently I didn't clear that with the boss. Now the meltdown is because she wants ice cream for dinner and I am the worst mom ever, how dare I. Then she tells me she just want to have a bad night, why I ask her, because she just wants to. Oh OK then. We actually ended on a fairly good note. Oh to live another day, I wonder what is in store for us tomorrow?

This week in the Fabulous life of... Me

So we are dating back to the October 30th to start this week in the fabulous life of me..
10-30-09: out to dinner for my brothers birthday and get a call from Winter, sorry mom Zarley locked herself in the bathroom and cut her hair! Ahhh are you kidding me?
11-02-09: Owen and friend cover my entry way with dirt from my plant. And I do mean cover.
11-03-09: Take kids to the Dr. and Zarley yells the word "bitch " total humiliation.
11-04-09: Take Zarley to the eye doc and she is completely uncooperative and just yells out random letters and keeps yelling "no" to him. A good reading on her progress? Uh that would be a no.
11-05-09: few minor fits from Zarley and many messes from little boys, is the week turning around?
11-06-09 Zarley throws a major fit at the zoo, embarrassing? just slightly.
11-07-09 Zarley throws another fit while her dad picks her up from a friends where she slept over. Do these people know how to parent? Do they have any control over that child? The answer to that is um No. Later that evening Zarley throws another fit while getting dropped off at her cousins house to be babysat. "hey can you do me this huge favor by babysitting oh and by the way my child will throw a huge fit when I leave have fun and thanks." So sorry Danielle and Nat.
11-08-09: Get a call at work from Winter "mom zarley is throwing things at us, cars and other things, and yelling swear words at us, what am I suppose to do" ahh what do I do with her? Oh I call and ask my sister to take her for the day so that no one gets hurt. Reward for her? maybe? sanity for everyone else.
Finally got our car into the repair shop and it will just cost $750.00 to fix. And this concludes the fabulous life of me.. Stay tuned for more in the Fabulous life of me.

Complete humilation, with yourself to blame.

So I was completely and totally humiliated and unfortunately I probably have only myself well and Mike to blame. We went to the Dr. office to check Owens tonsils to see if he should see a E.N.T. or not bla bla right, well let me mention that Zarley has been in full Pia mode for about 3 weeks now. And just this morning before the Dr. I made a new rule certain words said in our house will result in a job due to the potty mouths we have had as of late, Zar being the worst. OK so back to the Dr. we are sitting in the room waiting on the Dr. when Owen decides to go full UFC on Xavier and wrestle him to the ground resulting in a ear piercing shriek from xman and oh yea a bloody nose. So I'm bribing the kids with a trip to the gas station for a treat if they are good thinking this is going to work right? No, So the bloody nose is under control the Dr. comes in and we are actually going through the visit pretty well, when Zarley decides to scream out "bitch". That's right my adorable little girl is swearing in the Dr. office I thought I was going to die. So I tell her she has a job to do and the Dr tries to explain to her that that word is not nice and hurts peoples feelings. Just when you think its over the worst visit ever I break the news to them sorry no gas station for you guys, and this results in full melt down screaming from Owen. I'm starting to wonder why I ever venture out in public with my children.
So who is to blame probably me and my potty mouth and Mike and his. Now there is karma biting me right in the butt! right?

Pick your battles!

So getting Zarley ready for school is usually not an easy or fun task, she usually lays around throws a fit etc... On this particular morning she got ready quite easily and was ready to go to school. Her hair not combed and these adorable brown and white polka dot leggings, not so adorable with the blue and white striped shirt she paired them with. So here comes the pick your battles part. Do you let her go to school looking like this when usually getting her off to school is not a easy task or do you pick this as one of your battles? I picked it as a battle. What the picture doesn't show is that she still has the leggings on under the skirt. but her hair did get fixed and the leggings weren't quite so noticeable. Wow she has such a sense of fashion doesn't she?

notice she isn't as happy in these as she
was in her own choice.

The moment he has waited for/ The moment she dreads

So anybody who knows Mike knows he loves hockey and cant wait for his boys to play, I however do not share this enthusiasm. I would like my cute little boys to have teeth. However this Sept Owen discovered all of Mikes hockey sticks in the garage. He really liked to play with me, we would hit a ball back and forth and I have to say he is pretty good. It was really a nice way to enjoy the last couple of warm summer weeks. I wanting my boy to keep his teeth hope he doesn't remember how much he liked it come spring. However today would much rather be outside playing hockey with my 3 yr old then be inside freezing as the first snow of the year hits.

Zarley played a little to.

Xavier enjoyed it to, but the sticks were a bit

to long for him

what makes you sad?

You know how when your kids hurt your hurt right? Well since school started I have noticed that Zarley seems to be having a hard time adjusting, Her infamous fits have started back up which is always hard on everyone and very trying of my patience. Her sight seems to have set her back a bit trying to adjust to how things are really suppose to look. ( a issue I have a lot of guilt about, not knowing your child cant see can do that to you). Anyway this afternoon a neighbor girl told me that she saw Zarley crying at recess and that she wanted me, this broke my heart, I asked her about it and she said she didn't have anyone to play with (her buddy Jackson was home sick) Everyday is a fight she doesn't want to go to school and after school she is sad because she doesn't have anyone to play with. All the other girls in the neighborhood have afternoon kindergarten and when they are home they don't seem to get a long with her any way they as they like to tell her are "popular" and she is not. All these things just make me want to cry, she is a funny little firecracker if you take the time to know her and I hate seeing her struggle and such a little age. How do you know when to step in and when your being a mother hen? I have to give a shout out to Maddie one of her favorite cousin I'm sure, she will play with her when the other kids won't she takes her to Walgreens on her scooter and they often have sleepovers together its so cute! I haven't ever had this problem with Winter she seems to make friends everywhere she goes so if anyone has any experience with this I'm listening.

what makes you feel old?

So today I took Xavier to his 15 month appointment and started thinking wow 15 months already, where has the time gone, then I started thinking I am getting old. Then I started running down the list of things that make me feel old.

winter to big to dance in the rain

Zarley old enough to dance in the rain

Xav figuring out a power wheel

Zarley learning to ride a 2 wheeler

Zarley doing her first homework assignment

Owen going out the door for first day of preschool

first school picture by the apple tree

Owen walking into school

Owen and Jackson coming out to the car after

there first day of preschool! They had a good time

They told me they rode bikes in the sand, and played

batman with capes. They were so cute!

As cute as they were this only added to my oh my gosh I am getting old, not to mention I took Zarley to her first day of dance for the year. She is on the mini team this year so she will go to competitions and stuff. I just think she is still to little but apparently not. So I ask what makes you feel old?

Mike

So I was blogging about Zars first day of school and texting Mike at the same time, because that's how we communicate, he asked if I was blogging about him, I said no, he asked why and I said because its not all about you. So then I decided to give him a shout out. The above picture is Mike with Owen and Xavier at Lake Powell this last weekend.
Mike took the 3 little kids to Lake Powell along with the rest of the Howard clan Winter had school and dance try outs and I had work so we stayed home. Not nearly as fun I know. Thanks Mike your the best.
So I am home alone most the time because Win had school and of course lives in her own world, I thought I would take advantage of my time and do some cleaning and much needed organizing. Amazingly What I cleaned stayed that way, there was none of the below:
1. No little people following you as you clean messing everything up.
2. No little fingerprints to wipe off the walls appliances windows etc...
3 NO huge size 12 shoes to trip over when you walk in the door because that's where they were kicked off.
4. NO dirty clothes sitting on the bathroom floor.
5. No clean clothes on the bedroom floor because that's where clean clothes go right. Dirty clothes go either on the bathroom floor or if I'm lucky they go into the laundry basket.
6. No pile of Mikes pocket remnants on the kitchen counter, where he empties them.
7. Worst of all when I came home from work the kitchen sink was not full of dirty dishes, the counter wasn't covered in what was left from breakfast and lunch.
8. MY bed wasnt a jumbled mess when I went to get in it, it stayed mostly made.
The truth is I actually was quite bored when I was home. I missed Mike and the kids more than I thought I would. I thought I would enjoy it more instead I kind of missed all the things that drive me so crazy on a regular basis. Thanks for the time alone. I love you.

My Zarley the kindergartner

So Zarley started kindergarten this week, at 8:30am none the less still not sure what I was thinking with the am schedule. Oh well right no more 10 am rising for us any more.



Ready to walk to school for the first time

me carrying her after she tripped on the way

Standing in front of school. She is so cute!

Waiting in line to go in. No I didn't cry !

One of my all time favorite Lake Powell trips

So we did our Lake Powell trip this year it kind of ended up being a sisters trip plus the tweens, seeing that only my parents, Josh and his fam and Troy, Blanca and Auggie were the only ones unable to make it this time. We missed having everyone but we all had a great time.

Mike and I left thurs am (3 am, not to difficult for us seeing Mike has a crazy schedule). When we got there we had breakfast and Mike slept in the car for awhile, then we headed out for the dreaded spot finding job. Most of the day was spent doing this, such pressure trying to find a spot for everyone, that will be good enough. Mike was loosing patience probably due to the lack of sleep. Poor guy! So we finally got everything set up and we were getting ready to go out and finally enjoy the wonders of Lake Powell when the wind kicked up and our tent blew over and the EZ up started to blow away ahh! While trying to get the tent back up we realized the poles had snapped and there was no way it was going to stay up, the sky was turning black and we werent sure what we were going to do for shelter. The water was rough the sky black and we were sure we were doomed for the night. Not to mention Winters crazy fear of storms. We didnt think it would be a good idea to make the 30 min trip back to the marina, then I got the fantastic idea of putting the ez up into our tent to at least hold the tent up for the night. We had made plans to meet everyone else at the Marina early in the morning and show them the way to our spot. We figured if we could make it through the night we could go to walmart in Page in the am for a new tent. Luckily it workd not the most comfortable but it was shelter. At this point mike was completely frusterated, yelling about the @$%##@ day and what a waste. Poor Owen got yelled at for being a whiney @$$%#$@. He then realized that things could only get better from here and his mood started to improve (for the record I thought he was doing fine considering the amount of sleep he had gotten maybe 2 hrs he is the one that said he was bad.) Anyway the sky cleared a little and the night actually ended up being pretty nice and we even went out for an evening swim.

Mike was right things only got better from there we got a new tent in the am everyone else came and we all had a really great time. We went to Rainbow Bridge which was really fun. We all tried surfing which most of us loved I believe. Even Winter tried it usually she has to be forced to try things she has a lot of fear, that I dont understand. Anyway we did a lot of tubing wake boarding etc... There was the ever famous "king of the Molecule " as it was this year . So much fun ( previous yrs it has been king of the water tramp etc..) It was so much fun I can't wait for next yr..

To all my campsite buddies, Hey whats your moodring?

the car ride down

Really Winter ? who wears those things?

Owen and xav wrestling inside the tent inside the tent

doesnt it look cozy inside?

some king of the molecule going on
Shawna, Mike, and Zar on the tube
Some more king of the molecule, Mitch losing
Xav cheesing it up
The walk to Rainbow Bridge, This is actually Mike
trying to teach Hayden how to put the moves on a girl
What a great uncle right?!

Fam picture at Rainbow Bridge
Shawna and Madz, the boys making Zar into a mermaid


isnt she a cute mermaid

Surfing adventures, Zar and mike doing it. She was brave