You know how when your kids hurt your hurt right? Well since school started I have noticed that Zarley seems to be having a hard time adjusting, Her infamous fits have started back up which is always hard on everyone and very trying of my patience. Her sight seems to have set her back a bit trying to adjust to how things are really suppose to look. ( a issue I have a lot of guilt about, not knowing your child cant see can do that to you). Anyway this afternoon a neighbor girl told me that she saw Zarley crying at recess and that she wanted me, this broke my heart, I asked her about it and she said she didn't have anyone to play with (her buddy Jackson was home sick) Everyday is a fight she doesn't want to go to school and after school she is sad because she doesn't have anyone to play with. All the other girls in the neighborhood have afternoon kindergarten and when they are home they don't seem to get a long with her any way they as they like to tell her are "popular" and she is not. All these things just make me want to cry, she is a funny little firecracker if you take the time to know her and I hate seeing her struggle and such a little age. How do you know when to step in and when your being a mother hen? I have to give a shout out to Maddie one of her favorite cousin I'm sure, she will play with her when the other kids won't she takes her to Walgreens on her scooter and they often have sleepovers together its so cute! I haven't ever had this problem with Winter she seems to make friends everywhere she goes so if anyone has any experience with this I'm listening.
13 comments:
I don't think anything prepares you for the heartwrenching stuff that comes with parenthood! Watching your kid hurt, physically or emotionally, is sheer torture, and you'd instantly trade places with them if you could, and yet so many times you can't do anything but sit back and 'wait it out' with them! Sorry though, mine are younger, so we're only starting to scratch the surface of 'friend troubles' in our neck of the woods, so I have no experience, advice or words of wisdom . . . just some sympathy! In the long run though, having a lot of loving people at home who care for her will make up for any times that the 'social sphere' isn't all it should be! It just sucks to watch 'em hurt in the meantime! Hopefully this ends soon and she finds her niche in school!
That's very sad. I know exactly what it's like to have a child that people don't want to play with. Starts by being heartbreaking and then you just become downright angry. It's not fair. That being said I would suggest starting by talking to her teacher. She's been in school long enough now that the teacher should have a handle on what's going on. As far as her struggling because of her eyes you could always have her tested for resource, even if just for this year to help her catch up. If you ask for it the school HAS to do it. Zarley was saying something to me on Friday about being popular and how we're ALL popular. I thought at the time it was sad that already she's talking about "popular". It's sad that this world is like that. Kindergarden is where Baylee's problems began with "bullies". My advice would be to intervene and put a stop to it now. You are the only one that can stand up for her. School is supposed to be a safe place. As far as the neighborhood kids I would distract Zar as much as possible. Is she with you when you pick up the boys?
Cute little Zarley C: That is so sad. I just want to give her a squeeze! To bad her and Em aren't the same age!! We have had this problem a couple of times and it usually works it's self out. Talking to the teacher is sometimes a good idea if you can do it on the sly then she can be aware of what is going on that is something I have done in the past and it helps. In the meantime keep making yummy treats :D ;D
O I am sorry i feel bad for her that she is not loving school!! i am not a parent so i dont have any advice ha ha.. just wanted to let you know I love her so much and i hope it all gets worked out soon thats hard... i will beat them up for you jk lol!!! in the mean time send her to my house to hang out anytime!!! i still owe her a sleepover!!!!
I am not a parent, so I cannot offer any insight there, but as a teacher I thought I could add a couple of things.
I would just talk to or even email the teacher to make her aware of the situation. The teacher may not even be aware anything is wrong if she is acting normally in the classroom, since teachers are not usually the ones on the playground. The teacher may be able to help Zarley make some new friends, as teachers often know the kids who are willing to take new kids into their groups. She also may know if there is a bigger issue going on, or if it was something minor just that day, like all the girls were fighting.
I am sorry you are going through this, it sounds really heart breaking. I cannot believe the neighborhood girls are being so mean at such a young age. The term "popular" is something that my fourth graders don't even talk about.
Thanks everyone, I did talk to the teacher today and feel pretty good about it. We really lucked out with a great teacher.
I love love Zarley binks!! You know I have a special love for her!! She is a strong girl and will end up all the better because of this! I think your doing a great job by jumping in, talking to the teacher and getting on top of it, it is not mother hen at all.. anyways who said being a mother hen was bad... your the only one who will always protect your child....and like I tell her all the time they are not being popular they are just being MEAN!! Popular is someone who is nice to everyone, and maybe all the litte girls should be told that! She will be ok she will make good friends and once she gets her eyesight figured out 100% she will catch up fast.... Kerry is right maybe after you touch base with the teacher next week you can see if she needs special help just for this year to make up for the past few years of not being able to see what she was being taught... she is a smart girl and she will learn to make friends.... Maddie has and she was super shy at Zarley's age... Maddie also can help her dealing with stupid bullies she has experience (not that she is being bullied but you know)
I forgot what makes me sad was the question right.... well like my comment wasn't long enough... top thing is when someone you love is hurting and you can't help like you said, so when you watch your strong independent daughter be bullied to insecurity is hard, when your mom is faced with such a hard choice and is so sad and their is nothing you can do, and even when you stand in the circle talking to your sister whom you love and watch her cry because her heart is broken for her own child... this is what makes me sad... one last thing the fact that Obama is president j/k and no I am not racist!! its a joke Mike!! I do find myself funny!
It's enough to break my heart that our sweet little Zarley is having a tough time. I am glad you got to see the teacher and that she was helpful. The other kids are the losers...they won't get to know the Zarley that we do! Everyone who knows her, loves her! She could teach those sweet darlings a thing or two! As a parent you should never be afraid to speak up for your child, you are their best advocate! Hopefully things will get better, and this sadness will be "yesterday's news".
This breaks my heart.I wish I had something brillant to share. I don't know what I would do other than talking to the teacher and maybe volunteering to help in class. Zarley is a good girl. In this day and age you want strong kids and she is a strong kid. That is so sad that other girls are mean to her. You wish you could make her understand that she doesn't want friends like that anyway. Adjusting to school is hard. I remember crying for my mom too. I actually hated school until Jr. High when I found a great life long friend. Zarley has lots of cousins and family who love her. You are a good mom and I don't think you can step in quick enough when your kids is hurting. Please let me know if I can do anything to help. Since I am home now she is welcome to come over anytime.
I am so sorry. Jessica got made fun of in preschool for having glasses. She was so sad and asked why she was not as pretty as the other girls. I told her that she was even more beautiful cause she had glasses like me and her Dad. It helped a little bit but I did talk to the teacher. I did not make a big deal of it but I did tell her and she had a talk with the kids. She is better now and I try to tell her all of the time that she is beautiful and special. It is so hard to see your babies struggle. I hope things work out.
How's school going? Is she adjusting well, making new friends? Hope it's all going much better now!
Oh my HECK! HOW did I miss this? I'm so sorry! I hate that she was struggling. I really haven't seen you enough to know how she's doing now. Nice friend right? Once Jax is for sure out of the woods with this swine flu nonsence we will be there in a flash to hang with our sweet Zarley girl! Dang it!
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