So it's been awhile since We've had a good Zar story, not that we haven't had any, just none that I have written about but this one just makes me laugh and I want to remember it, so this is kind of journal thing.
First, the night before Thanksgiving we went to dinner as a family we were driving and Winter is asking about getting a belly button ring, I told her she knows my conditions, Zar brings up tattoos, Winter says she will get one when she is 18, Zar proceeds to tell us she wants one. This was our conversation:
Zar: I'm going to get a tattoo on the back of my neck
Mike and I in unison: NO YOUR NOT
Zar: Why?
US: because the back of the neck is trashy
Zar : Fine then I am not going to tell you what it was going to say.
Us: OK Zar what was it going to say?
Zar: it was going to say people should be free..... (short pause) in french
Us: In french? why French
Zar: I don't know just sounds good
Us: Why people should be free.
Zar: because people all over the world should be free.
On to Zar's big adventure. So this year was my family's year for Thanksgiving so the Sunday after we had a Thanksgiving dinner with the Howard's. Zar was not happy to leave so the ride home was fun for lack of a better word. She was angry that anyone dare talk and just kept getting more and more upset. So you can understand Mike and I take each kid out shopping one at a time to buy gifts for their siblings and for whatever cousin they have drawn or whichever they match up with in age in Kerry's family Zar gets Oliver because she likes him and no one else is her age.
Zar : I am not going to buy anyone any thing... except Winter
Me: Winter isn't even in the car Zar?
Zar: duh mom that is the point she isn't bugging me so I will buy her something.
Me: OK Zar
Zar: you don't even try to fix my life mom, you don't even know whats wrong
Me: I am sorry Zar What is wrong? how can I fix your life?
Zar: well I know how to fix your life, you want to know how?
Me: sure, How can I fix my life
Zar: you can get a better job, you know like a career that pays you more money so you don't have to work so much.
Me: a career Huh? OK thanks that is a good plan.
Zar: I know what I am going shopping for, and it is nothing to do with you or your crazy hair.
Me: OK Zar I love you.
(that makes her real mad when I say that.)
Zar: That is it mom, I am giving you one last chance to raise me one last chance (insert all Zars attitude and her holding up her one finger.) and the next time you blow it I am running away. Never to return again.
me: one last chance huh? OK I better be careful. I love your Zar.
Zar: shut up!
I know your thinking is she really this calm. I actually am first of all I was dying I found this so funny. I use to get really upset and freak out it has taken a lot to remain calm in these situations. But we see a guy that I love and he is helping me to better deal with these things. When I stay calm the situation usually ends quicker. And besides her wording is just so damn funny.
So Mondays are one of my long days, I work my school job then hurry home usually to grab laundry to do at work then head to my other job where I work until 11, 11:30 then it takes me 40 min to get home so I usually am home a after midnight and I am spent by then. So the following Monday night I came home to what looked like a bomb had gone off, my house was a disaster, I was to tired to clean then, and I had to cross that week so it was a 3 job week, Anyway, Tuesday I was yelling at my kids to clean up because I can't do it all, bla bla bla. Well with doing that I blew my last chance.
Miss Zar packed up her bags and she was running away.
Zar: that is it I am out of here
Me: where you going?
Zar: I am not going to tell you, I don't want you guys to come visit
Me: OK, can we have one last hug?
Zar sure.
she hugs us all and starts to the door with like 2 suitcases and 2 bags, a blanket. and I think a pillow.
me: hey don't forget a coat, it is cold out.
Zar I won't I was going to grab it
Me Ok do you need any help
Xav : by lovey
Zar: no I got it,
me: you sure? I love you I will miss you
Zar : I don't need help I won't miss you.
Zar: I am leaving now, I will be back for lunch and dinner (pause) and my pills
Then we all gave her a hug and she left.
Zar heading out.
Owen was very concerned. I had Winter follow her, she just went to the side of our house and set up camp, she had her blanket and stuff all set up, I went out and asked if she was cold or would like to come back in but she said no. Owen kept going out to check on her. He is such a good sweet brother. He would come in and say don't worry mom she is fine I checked on her. Mike did not find this even the slightest bit funny. He just thought it was sad. I acknowledge there is a level of sadness to it. but it was also hilarious at the same time. If I let myself think about the sad aspect, I get very down and feel like a failure as a mother. This is where the neuro pshycholgoist helps out. He helps me understand better. Which allows me to find the humor. I can either laugh or cry and I have spent way to much time crying the last year and a half. This little firecracker of mine, oh the things she says. Mike was on his way over so he talked to her and she came inside after only about a half an hour. He is really quite good with her. They really seem to connect and always have. I love that she has that. Sometimes I feel crappy because it isn't me, seems like it should be the mom but at the end of the day I am just glad she has someone.
The next weekend was Zarley's shopping turn, Mike and I were talking, I was telling him how I wanted to go on another get away to Vegas with my friend Danielle, and Zar pipes in from the back seat,
Zar: OHH I can't wait til I can go to Vegas and PAARRTTYY! then she just laughed..
and I laughed and said "oh Zar you are going to be good time some day!" Mike just looked at us and wished me luck getting her to bed. I told him I would take this happy giggling 1000 times over her angry tantrums to which he agreed.
My little Zar she always keeps things interesting that is for sure... I can't wait to see what the teenage years bring us.. Heaven help me!
I do know that she won't fall into peer pressure not many can get this girl to do something she doesn't want to do or that isn't her idea. Which I think will end up being a great trait later in life.
