Howard Family 6

actions

2012-02-08T11:00:00.001-07:00

So I read this blog sometimes, http://www.memoriesoncloverlane.blogspot.com/ if you haven't ever read it you should. Sometimes I think she is a bit over the top and sometimes I think she is amazing and strong. She seems to forge her own path with her kids and not really care what the rest of society thinks. Which I think is a lot easier said than done. Her last post is about how actions speak so much louder than words especially to preteens and teens. I have been thinking about this so much lately with Winter. How I or everyone in her life can tell her something but our actions are sometimes sending a much different message and sometimes it's the message of our actions that she is getting not the words we are saying.
Teenage years are hard, I think back to being a teenager and how you think your parents are so lame with their rules and whatever. Oh my how these years suck as a parent. You want to allow your kids to do things but not get in trouble, you want to send the right message that will build them into strong responsible adults, its a fine line, actions vs. words. You never know which message your kid is receiving the one your telling them or the one your showing them.

Winter is a bright amazing girl, who yes has fault and yes I see it all the time, her grades have slipped this year she seems to not be so interested in dance as she was last year, she has been very caught up in drama that just makes her feel bad, how do I teach her to let things roll off her back? I don't do it. I have spent hours upon hours crying in my room over the last several months, letting other people make me feel bad about myself, yet I am telling her to not listen to other people, to let things go. How can I expect her to do that when I am letting her watch me be weak, letting other peoples words get me down, letting other peoples actions cause me pain.

This post rang loud for me. I want to show her to not let people define me or her, I want all my kids to learn to define themselves for who they are and what they do not what other people tell them they are. I know this post was about media and other things but it gave me a message that was needed right now. As parents it is our job to teach our kids things and put our foot down when it's something we don't want our kids seeing or hearing. I feel such a greater responsibility these days in teaching my kids to make the best decisions in life. To do the things that are right and honest. That means making choices that my kids might not like and other people might not like but they might be best for my kids, and to hell with what other people think!

What do you think? Do you think your actions send the same message as your words? What areas can you work on to send the right or same message? The hardest part is when they say well so and so's parents let them, you catch yourself thinking, do they? well I think they are a good parent so maybe, I guess you should always go with your own gut right? I always say to Winter well I am not so and so's parent but then I find myself questioning or changing my mind. It is hard to stand your ground when everyone else is doing it so to speak. Let me know your thoughts.

Out of gas.....

2012-02-07T14:47:00.003-07:00

Last night my best friend and favorite sister in law asked me to meet her at the gym, she signed up where she can bring a friend every time for free, I told her I couldn't meet her I was out of gas, I had no idea how true that was. So this morning I told Owen we had to leave a few minutes early to pick up Xavier from school because I had to get gas and I would get him a treat. I made it down my street and down the next street, I stopped at the Stop sign and my car died. Out of gas. UGH!

My first thought was oh my gosh Mike is going to kill me, then I remembered, Mike won't kill me, he won't even know this happened. Then I thought Oh my gosh what am I going to do? How will I handle this on my own? Sometimes when you run out of gas in a diesel it is tricky to get the car to start again.... I don't know the tricks. First thing I did was call my brother he lives close, but he was at work in American Fork. Plan B call Audrey, she can pick up Xavier and then at least he won't be sitting at school wondering where the hell is mom is. OK I thought one problem solved, Next I called my sister Tiffany who should be heading home from her dance class luckily she was coming right home. She picked up me and Owen and took us to the gas station to get some gas. We came back and put the gas in the car which was kind of hard, I know its sounds lame, who hasn't run out of gas, but I drive a huge lifted Excursion and I had the large gas can and I am 5 ft tall so it was a bit difficult to get the gas into the tank. My sister helped me. I went to try and start the car and at first it wasn't starting I was getting panicked. I closed my eyes and thought I am going to have to call Mike, people are right I can't do this alone. Then I said to myself you can do this, I tried one more time and after a little hesitation my car started. I did it with out any Male help. I know people do this all the time but it is a first for me and its all about the baby steps right?

Sisters are the best thing in the whole world. I don't know what I would do without my sisters. I just don't know how people go through life with out sisters. Mine save me all the time, I wouldn't trade anything for my sisters (this includes you Nat your as close to sister as anyone not born from the same mother could be.) I hope that all my sisters feel they can ask me for anything like I know I can ask them. Audrey and Tiffany thank you so much for your help today. I hope as I adjust to my new life I don't burden you with all the help I might need.

I am so glad my girls have each other. Even though there is a big space between them and even though they both say they don't like each other I know they do and I know that they will be there for each other no matter what. Just like lastnight when Zar and I had an emotional conversation about divorce and stuff after she asked me to send Winter in. Winter went in and talked to her, I asked Winter what Zar wanted and Winter said she had said she just didn't want to be alone. I am so glad she was able to aske for her sister and that her sister was able to be there for her.

Bitter Sweet

2012-02-01T18:56:00.002-07:00

Today I took my kids swimming for the very first time as a single mom. I have actually never taken my kids swimming alone before, I usually go with my sister and her kids so her teenagers help or Winter and a friend who also help a little. Or with Mike but today I took my 3 little ones and one of my nieces all by myself. The kids go back on track next week and we have had a rough month trying to get caught up on things. I haven't grocery shopped or done anything so today was a special treat.
It was bitter sweet. I know I can handle all the kids in the pool now, I know Owen hasn't lost his swimming skills. Last time we went swimming both Mike and I were so impressed with how well he was doing its been so long I was a little worried he might have regressed but he hasn't.
It was different, I am a little short so we can't go as deep to jump off the edge as we would when Mike came with us but I still did it. Going in the lazy river isn't quite as fun with two kids you can't quite float them the same as you can just one, but I did it.
I can't exactly take pictures of the fun event because I am on my own and can't be in arms length as the rules state and taking pictures so I still have to find that balance.
I know this sounds stupid and I know that moms take their kids swimming and do that kind of stuff all the time, but for me this is a first of many and it is hard and good all that the same time. I was told earlier this week I couldn't do it on my own so I guess I look at it as me saying yes I can and just watch me do it.

Zarley

2012-01-10T04:06:00.007-07:00

Zarley, Zar-Zar, Zarlybinkines, Bugges

To Zarley:
Hey Zar its Dad, I wanted to tell you that I love you. I love you with all my heart. You are your own person and I can’t wait to see what you grow up into. From the moment I saw you in moms belly at the south town mall I know I was in love. I have my weak moments in life like everyone does. But you have always been there for me to pull me off the edge. You and your sister and your brothers. Are you the best behaved little girl? No certainly not but I would not have you any other way. And a girl could be as fun and exciting and full of laughs and be a good girl. I know times are easy right now. I know whose fault that is. But that doesn’t change who you are to me and what you mean to me. When I spend time with you, you make me the happiest father in the world. I know school is tough I know some of the challenges you face in your life because I have face the same challenges. I think that’s why we bond. I pray you don’t grow up to face the challenges I face these days. But if by chance you do I hope you have someone to pull you out of the darkness the way you always seems to do for me. If not for a single hello on the phone or a kiss from you who knows where I would be. I look at your smile and it could brighten up the dark side of the moon. There are days I find myself on that dark side of the moon and it’s your light that shines, and shows me the path back to life. I know that's a lot of responsibility for such a little girl. But I want you to know that you mean more to me then the world itself. It breaks my heart to hear when you have sad days or bad days. I want you to know that I have them too. I have the days where you just don't want to get out of bed and face the world. But there is this little girl out there that sunshine’s and gets me to face life. Because I know that I could not face life without you. So on your Birthday I don't mean to make this about me. But I want you to understand how important you are to me. How I could not live without you. You will never have an idea how true those words are. Zarley I love you. Below is a song that reminds me of you. You are my answer, I hope when you grow up I will be your answer. I will always be here for you. Like my parents in your darkest days and lowest moments there will always be a hand there to pull you out. Sometimes you just need to look up instead of down. I miss you every second of every day. I miss seeing what outfit you will decide fits your mood or what shoes might work. I love the gamble of if it’s going to be a good day or a bad day. You can be so sweet to your brothers. I loved how you promised to share perfume with your sister because you knew she wanted it. Some day you’re going to grow up and wonder who is there for you. You should know I will always be there for you.

I have 8 birthday wishes for you

1. 1. I know your little heart can dream and I wish all your dreams come true. I promise to do everything in my power to make them happen.

2. 2. I know you don’t like your glasses but I hope one day you will see yourself for how cute you are in them

3. 3. You are as special as your name is. There is no other Zarley out there.

4. 4. I hope some day you get all the American girl dolls your heart desires

5. 5. I wish I could bring you a Mnt Dew every morning. But a responsible parent doesn’t do that. Doesn’t mean I don’t want too.

6. 6. I hope I get to take you to England some time so you can see where your Dad came from

7. 7. I hope when you grow up you have a child that means as much to you as you do to me.

8. I hope that you find happiness we try to find each day.

Love Always,
Dad

Answer

By Sarah McLachlan

I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

Link to Song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=f6pQcpFnXOI

new blog

2012-01-07T09:39:00.001-07:00

I started a new blog its private, if you want to join email me ammitt03@gmail.com.

Happy Birthday Mike

2011-12-21T15:56:00.002-07:00

So today is Mike's birthday. I am not going to tell you 35 things you don't know about him because I don't think I could come up with 35, I am going to tell you 35 of my most memorable moments with Mike. Mike is all about the fun in life that's one of the things I love most.
35.My first memory is of him at hockey game I was there with my friend Kerry, I remember thinking he was a jerk, and wondering if he spoke.
34. Being full on football tackled by him in a hotel hallway, we had gone to Vegas for a hockey game, I went with Kerry. I had the hotel room key and he wanted it. So he chased me down the hall and tackled me .
33. We went to a Depeche Mode concert together before we were dating, it was awkward at first then we started making fun of all the crazies, I started to think maybe he wasn't so bad.
32.Clanging beer bottles down the movie theatre floor that they had snuck in and Mike yelling out "one time" when it was real quiet. a line from the Mary J Blige song. It was funny at the time.
31.For my birthday right before we started dating he brought me a candle, there was just some guy at the door for me it was sweet.
30.Mike use to always leave me treats in my car, he was working nights so he would drop things off on his way home, I would go to work at 6 and find little treats in my car.
29. He was always more than willing and wanting to babysit Winter for me while I went to school or when I had to work Saturday mornings. He also didn't mind changing diapers, which was great most guys aren't like that.
28. We went to New York for New Years 1999, to see his friend Damko who was stationed there, it was fun we took a carriage ride through Central Park, even though there were 2 others along for the ride it is still a great memory for me.
27.On our first trip to California together he drove Winter and I all around Torrance showing us his old stomping grounds, we weren't that interested, it was kind of funny.
26.When we were still dating we would take turns buying stuff at Target, we took a lot of camping trips that summer and by the end had built our own collection of gear, it was fun to buy stuff for our future together.
25.The first time Mike was buying baby stuff with me he said loudly to the cashier,"holy shit this stuff is expensive."
24. Getting engaged it was the 4th of July, he was so nervous, and was getting so mad because things weren't going right. I couldn't understand why he was getting so worked up... It was very sweet he made sure Winter was with us because we would be a family.
23. Our first miscarriage, it was heartbreaking and he was so concerned for me and loving.
22. Mikes wisdom teeth came out about the same time as our first miscarriage, he wanted me to remove the bloody gauze from his mouth, like he couldn't do that himself, gross.
21. Mike's first trip to Lake Powell with my family, he wore all black all the time, black t-shirts, black shorts, black socks, and this ugly black Dr. Martin hat, and then would complain about it being so hot....
20. "Get off the bed you on my side" when we were having Zarley my water broke and I happened to be on the bed on his side. he just kept saying ewe hurry get off. Like I could just jump up super quick.
19. In the operating room having Zar he said, "you could have waited for the game to be over its the playoffs you know" . seriously all the Dr.'s and nurses just laughed.
18. The moment Zar was born, it was so sweet and Mike couldn't figure out what to do, stay with me or go with Zar.
17.The moment Owen was born, we didn't know what he was when they said boy Mike actually popped a tear, he said he had all this blond hair.
16. In the hospital having Xavier he said, "you better have this kid or everyone at work is going to think I am a liar" really that is your concern.
15. The moment Xman was born.
14.Forgetting my clothes to wear home when leaving the hospital with Xavier , then Mike leaving me and all 4 kids at the hospital while he ran to the mall to buy me an outfit. button up shorts and a polo shirt, like I could fit into clothes..(I actually did and it was a cute outfit.)
13.Mike's gumby body and how floppy it is and how he almost always injured someone else when riding the water weenie with them.
12. Mike injuring himself while riding the tube and getting an awful rope burn on his neck, it was bad, and a scary moment.
11. "what's your mood ring?" those that camped with us that year at Powell know, it was one of my all time favorite Lake Powell years.
10. Mike getting so mad at Disney Land that he dropped the F bomb and not quietly because they wouldn't let 3 yr old Winter on Star Tours, funny and embarrassing.
9. Losing the kayak paddle in Mexico, that sucker cost us 100.00 bucks, but it was funny
8. Sitting poolside in Mexico for a week, thinking I didn't have a care in the world, I would give anything to go back to that moment.
7. "Your going to have to dial down the crazy, we have a lot of years left together." Mike said this to me recently and it just made me smile thinking of all the years we had left together, it really made me feel loved, so I remember it.
6. Mike walking home from South Town Mall to our house in Herriman the week of Christmas, because he and Winter were fighting and like I tell my kids all the time when they fight in the car I say get out, so he did and he walked home, it wasn't funny then because it took him hours and I was very worried but it is funny now.
5. Our special time in Lake Powell with just our "Howard 6" we have made it a point to go down before everyone else for the last couple of years to have some time with just our little family, I love this time, and always really look forward to it.
4. Mike working 5 million hours for us so that we can take little vacations or do Christmas, he is such a hard worker and does whatever he can to provide for us.
3. This last summer Mike helping my mom up the mountain to the Indian Ruins in Lake Powell, and him being so excited for her to ski, almost to the point of obnoxious, My mom had her leg cut off, and I was so proud that of all the people there it was my compassionate husband who was there with her all the way to the top. I will forever remember that.
Most of these have been in chronological order or close to but these last two aren't but they are the most memorable to me...
2. Our wedding day, Mike had the best vows, he had quotes and everything, I felt so stupid going after him, what I had to say just was lame in comparison.
1. My very most memorable moment with Mike came the summer we got engaged, we weren't engaged quite yet, we took a trip together to California, I had set up to meet up with Ryan Winters biological dad, and Mike kept complaining at how he didn't want to meet him and how awkward it was going to be, I finally said to him stop worrying there is an 80% chance he won't show. Then the phone call came canceling the meeting, Mike flipped out, he just couldn't understand that, he went on and on about how Ryan didn't know what he was missing out on and how great of a kid she was. In that moment I stopped caring about Ryan not being there because I knew that I had found the best person to be a dad to my daughter, I knew that this was who I would spend my life with and have children with. Grow old with
I love you Mike hope you have a great birthday.

Happy Birthday Winter

2011-12-15T21:57:00.009-07:00

So yesterday or a few days ago (Sorry Winter Dad's fault) was Winters Golden Birthday she turned 14 her birthday is the 14th for anyone who doesn't know what that is.

What can I say about Winter, She is to me such and amazing child I know I am bias she is my kid but she amazes me all the time. We have gone through some really hard times lately and I know it affects her and she still is there for me more than a daughter should be. She has become like a 3rd parent around our house and I know I don't tell her enough how much I appreciate her help.

See she really does love her sister

Winter is that kid who gets stuff done. If she wants something by damn she will find a way to get it. A bedroom for herself is the perfect example... she doesn't want to share with Zarley any more so she has assigned out her gifts to get it done. Granddad is in charge of walls mom and dad in charge of carpet, grandma Sharon bedding.... you get the point pretty impressive.

Here you see a Winter in her natural environment. Texting (above)
And using the out house (Below)

A lot of changes are happening in Winters life and the way she handles things impresses me all the time. Her comprehension for life is astounding for a 14yr old girl. I know that if she sets her mind to it she will accomplish whatever she wants in life.
Happy Golden Birthday Winter. I love you!

Winter being well Winter

Winter what can we say about Winter. She has that ability to ease any situation. She can make a difficult situation very easy to be with. She is an incredible dancer. I will be honest i dont know the moves i dont knows whats hard and whats not easy. But she seems to make all the moves look graceful and easy. I think thats why her middle name is grace. It was an insight to her future.

She lives life to the fullest and doesnt take any time off to stop and look around. She just goes 100 % all the time. She loves spending time with her friends. We all love it when she gets along with her sister. She always seems to get along with her brothers. She is growing up so fast. We have a boyfriend to look forward to meeting. She doesnt want us to meet him but parents always win.

I just want to say that Winter really is the best daughter a father could ask for. Do we have our ups and downs. Yes we do. But really she is a great kid who is very helpful. I don't show it very much but she is one of the funniest people i know. People always say they don't care what people think. Winter really does not. I don't have a picture of it but i wish you could see this jacket she has now started to wear to school. Its un-real. Every time i look at her i think only you winter. And then I think just be you Winter because i love everything about you. Even those nasty ass sweats that are bad enough but to cut them short. Wow not me! But i love you for that.

Winter we love you!

Love

Mom and Dad.

Cory this picture is for you!

Very Proud of my daughter

Again this is Winter being Winter

Not sure how she sleeps like this but had to add it!

Hard Times

2011-11-03T21:59:00.002-06:00

A few years ago when I was turning 20 I found out I was pregnant with Winter. I thought that was the hardest time in my life. Moving home from a place I loved, having to face all the disappointment from myself and others. Trying to re figure out my life plan, dealing with judgement from others. It all seemed to work out for the best and I am so grateful everyday that Winter came into my life. I think in order to meet Mike and have the 3 beautiful kids we have together that had to happen to me.
Fast forward a few years I am now facing what I think is the hardest time in my life. I am trying to figure out how my life is suppose to work out from here. I feel lost everyday. I don't think a day has gone by in the last 3 months that I haven't cried and I DON'T cry. There is sadness all around me and I don't know how much more I can handle. I have amazing family on both sides that have been there for me, but nobody really understands how hard this has all been. Some days I struggle just to leave my bedroom. Thank goodness for kids I have to take care of or I'm not sure I would leave my room.
Sometimes we get so lost and its so hard to find our way back to the light. I hope everyday that the light will show itself today and yet it doesn't seem to happen. How much is to much for one person to handle? I think I am about to my limit! Here's to hoping tomorrow is the day!

First day of Schools

2011-09-15T21:27:00.005-06:00

Better late than never right? We had 4 different first days of school this year. First was Zarley starting second grade. She did awesome especially considering how much she hates school and gets so anxious about it. She has another awesome teacher this year... (phew). Owen started Kindergarten so the first week was all assessments so his first day was a week after Zarley's . He is getting so big it makes me sad. He is so shy he wouldn't even go into his assessment with out Mike sitting right next to him. Winter started 8th grade and is on traditional so she started about 2 weeks after the other two. She had a rocky start due to the charter school by us opening junior high school.. I think she has found her grove again and is just Winter. Oh Xavier he started preschool this year. He is the stinking cutest 3 year old I know. He to is shy and was a little scared the first day. But as soon as I picked him up he couldn't wait to show me his work and he runs to the car with the biggest smile every time and still continues to show me his work before I can buckle him up. Now here are some pictures of our first days of school by the apple tree, the tradition continues....
Winter, she actually gave me quite the photo shoot.
Zarley starting 2nd grade! isn't she the cutest?

Owen first day of Kindergarten see how big he is

My little man, he was not the happiest at this point

Life changes so fast I wish I could turn the clock back and hold on to these times forever... Here's to a great school year.

To Mike

2011-08-12T21:26:00.005-06:00

So I am not one of those people that talks about how they have the most amazing best husband in all the land because I think it is silly. Everyone wants needs expects different things from their spouse so who is to say whose is the best?

However I can say that I have the hardest working spouse that I know. Mike works ridiculous hours and he works hard and does a great job and he does it all for his family and I know that I don't tell him enough how much I appreciate him for that. about a month ago Mike was rewarded with employee of the quarter at his place of employment. I just wanted to take a moment and tell him how proud of him I am and how happy I am that he is finally getting the acknowledgement that he so deserves.

Mike and I are going through a real hard time right now and our future is uncertain. I am not an easy person to live with and I appreciate him for putting up with me for the last 10 yrs. I have been in other relationships which is no secret, I thought that I loved other people or that other people loved me but not until Mike came into my life did I realize what real love felt like. He has loved me more than anyone ever has in my whole life and I have been so lucky. I won't say he has been the best husband ever and God and everyone knows that I haven't been the best wife ever but we have made it through a lot. No matter what happens I just want Mike to know that I love him and appreciate all he has done for me in our life together.

Love always,

Amber

2011-08-11T01:31:00.013-06:00

Lake Powell 2011

Well we made what is now our annual pilgrimage down to lake Powell. We kind of wrapped three trips all into one. Amber and I try and get away alone with the kids each year just our family and we had the White Family trip and finally the Howard family trip all wrapped into one trip. I think it went pretty well to be honest.

The mini Howard trip:

Well we planned on heading out right after I got home from work. I got off early in hopes of getting a head start down there did not work as planned but we still left in a good timely manner. The White family trip was at Bullfrog which its actually been a few years since we have gone there it was a nice experience. It was nice to see lake powell filling up again as well. After getting on the road a little late we did arrive and get the boat in the water and what seemed like forever to find a spot. The spot was not that great but lake powell has changed a lot with the water levels so there was very limited spots. We did find a nice cove to go to. The only problem with the spot was the stupid ledges that would appear out of nowhere. I think we all kicked a rock a few times. Not the best idea. But we got settled in and got to spend a little bit of time in the water before dinner. We were limited with space so we were going with simple tin foil dinners both nights. We struggled a bit with the chicken but we nailed the steak. We had all of Saturday to send by ourselves we did some rock jumping and got some good family time.

White Trip

We meet the rest of the Whites at the docks on Sunday although it was very nice to spend some alone time with just our kids it’s always good to spend time with our outer family as well. You always hear people complain about their in-laws but I got very lucky with mine it seems I was excited to have everyone join us. Most of Ambers family feel the same about lake Powell as we do so it’s nice to share that excitement with them. We loaded up the house boat and it seemed to take FOREVER! But we did get it loaded and on the road so to speak they decided to go with a spot that was closer to the Mariana and so Amber and I went back to our spot to pull down our tent. (Sorry for abandoning our kids on the house boat) But we took down our tent and got back to the house boat to start our second leg of the trip. We had some good times. Survivor lake Powell, The rope slide, me in a speedo, painted nails. It was a great time. Best time of the second leg had to be watching my mother in-law getting up on skis for the first time in years. I am not overly sentimental person but seeing Kathryn go through what she went through lose a leg and still not let that hold her back from skiing was a very amazing moment I was so happy I got to be there and experience that. She is one of the most caring, brave, loving determined women I know. Great Job she hiked a mountain, skied and lived life again it was great.

Howard Extended
The final leg of our trip we pulled out the boat in Bullfrog and drove down to Page. My parents camp at Wahweap. Which is still lake Powell just a different experience. Its nice to be able to swim at the pool. The kids like the clear water. Its great to be able to shower and get cleaned up and still experience Lake Powell. We got the world famous Dave Howard camping breakfast in a mini version. We got there kind of late on Friday got there and set up camp and had some dinner and went for a late night swim at the pool. The pool is usually freezing balls cold but this time it was not actually that bad. Went back to camp and went to bed. We got up the next day and took the kids to the pool while the adults got to take the boat out and start there Lake Powell vacation. Baylee meet some new friends she always seems to. And then Amber and I got to get out on the lake for some evening wakeboarding. When I picture lake Powell in my head its at dusk and its still warm and the water is flat as a board. Some of the best wakeboarding out there. And the last day we got some afternoon tubing and then the weather turned south so we showered and went to another Howard family tradition the Mexican food. And we headed home.

I absolutely love lake Powell. When people tell you to picture your happy place that’s what I picture. I love sleeping on the house boat roof and the starts damn there is a million of them out there. Love the random conversations with people. Rock jumping seeing my little girl jump off the high rock. Seeing Owen getting the courage to go off rocks too. Watching X-man’s now famous cannon balls and going down the slide. Winter growing up so fast. Now she is driving the boat while we loaded it. Listening to Amber as she discovers our retirement plan. Camping with my mom and Dad and getting to eat the Howard camping breakfast. Zarley was so excited to show my mom how she can swim. Watching Kathryn hike the Indian ruins. Just spending some time with family and friends. It was all family but I consider them all friends. Oh and pink nails Can’t wait for next year.

I just want to know who drank all the damn drinks? Oh the kids that’s right. I suggest they don’t drink as much next time.

Peace out Bitches

Happy Birthday Owen Gregory Howard

2011-06-21T05:25:00.005-06:00

This is becoming a tradition a day late. Well if you know me then you know I am just that kind of guy! So onward with our story about Owen, or OEO, or OZO, or OGO, Ozeboz, or Buddy. You cannot have a better first son then Owen. He really is that kid that wants everyone to be happy. He looks out for his best friend X-man. They are a perfect match.

During the summer he has the whitest hair you have ever seen. It’s always nice to see his hair color change because you know summer is coming. He is a boys boy. He loves to play outside He cannot wait to get up and go outside and it really does not matter who is outside or what they are doing he just loves it. We are working our way to sports he is a little shy when it comes to that stuff but loves anything outside.

So after Amber and I had two girls we wanted a boy naturally right? Well for the first time Amber wanted to wait and not find out the sex. We figured it did not matter to us what he / it was we would love it so we might as well just let it ride and see what pops out. Much to the frustration to everyone. Like I understand peoples frustration but still I hope they understood why we waiting. It makes that phone call to tell them that you had the baby all the more exciting when you tell them that you have a boy (Speaking as a father)

So amber and I just went about the pregnancy not knowing and not caring at first I think it bothered me because you almost want that boy so bad that you just want to know. But in the end it was well worth the wait. Amber did offer to tell me for father’s day what the sex was but at that point what’s the point?

So Amber goes into labor and is having these pains that she says no I don’t need to go because I don’t want to be sent home. I can understand that but what if? So I finally convinced Amber it was time to go in. So we went in to the old cottonwood hospital and that’s a good drive from our house. We sent Zarley and Winter to Tiffany’s and so we track on down the freeway to get there. ( Me speeding, See X-man Post) get there and the nurses are like nah this is not time. So they tell amber that she is basically having fake contractions as she is double over in pain. They gave her some good pain meds and I was told come back when you’re really having your baby. So we track our asses back to our house with out a care in the world for gas prices (bitch nurses) Amber is told here we will give you some morphine and if it’s not stopped in 4 hours to come back. (As if gas was being given away) so we get home no real point in getting the kids so I go back to bed and Amber pretty much just sits on the alarm clock waiting for that 4 hours to expire. Sure as shit it does. No baby and still pain. So we head on back to the ER again another opportunity for me to try and use the old I am having a baby excuse to get out of a ticket. We show up and there is a new set of nurses there and they are pretty much like WTF why where you sent home. We were like WTF were we supposed to do?

Couple hours later we are in the delivery room and amber is throwing up. (She was embarrassed) not sure why I think that’s okay to do that in that situation. So OEO comes out and first thing we see are legs and getting excited to see our baby and he comes out ass cheeks up so I thought girl. They rolled him over and boom boy!

Happy Birthday OEO love you king to my throne! And to the nurse who sent us home you still owe us a few bucks gas money.

Mike Howard

Happy Birthday Xavier James Howard

2011-06-07T02:27:00.004-06:00

Three years ago we had our X-man. Our final child and we could not have ended on a better note. As what has grown to become custom with us we did not find out the sex of X-man. Figured it did not matter. We had our girls and our boys so it really did not matter what he was we knew we would love him. We also knew this would be our last. This would complete our Family circle.

X-man started with a little bit of trouble. I was working graveyards at CR England (Still am) and I was actually outside in our car taking a nap. Amber called me and said I see blood. Talk about scaring the shit out of someone. I ran inside and told my bosses sorry I am leaving I need to go. Amber called to make sure she could wait for me and I drove home as fast as I can. I picked up Amber and we were off to the new IHC hospital. Do you know how bad I wanted to get pulled over. I mean can you beat that excuse with a cop. I am having a baby as he looks over to the passenger seat and sees your wife with that look on her face. I know I would get out of that ticket! This was my last chance and I did all I could to get that damn pull over. Drove fast in the car pool lane. Right where they wait but it did not happen. So we made it to the hospital and I remember thinking god I hope my baby is okay. We have had problems in the past and you never feel totally at ease until they are out and breathing and all is good. Once we got there the nurses hooked amber up to the machines and all that. They did not seem concerned with the blood. So once we were okay from that. I thought (this is the first time I am admitting it so . . . ) Dame she better have this baby or all my co-workers are going to think I am full of it. I had been up all night and now was looking like I would be up all day. But we did deliver well Amber delivered a healthy baby boy.

So yesterday our little man or X-man turned 3 yesterday. I am sorry it’s a day late. But better late than never at all. We had a good weekend to celebrate X-man turning 3. If you have not met him you will have to take my word for how damn cute this kid is. I know that every parent goes on and on about how cute their kids are but this kid is amazing. He is so fun and loves his brother so much and is just a fun kid to have around. Just this week he was telling Owen how he was acting like mom and said, “Owen clean up your toys now!” This little boy is the most grow up 3 year old I know. People say he just follows Owen around but he really does not. He joins in the fun. He is his own boy and does what he wants it just happens to be the same as his older brother and cousins and friends. He is what you picture a boy to be so rough and tumble and gets into trouble. Not bad trouble just the mischievous trouble. This weekend I was playing with the boys on my bed and Owen was doing summersault off the bed. I was holding their hands as they did. Owen landed a couple in a row so he said dad I don’t need your help. Well this time he did it and smacked his head against the bottom of my bed. He was crying and Xavier asked Owen if he wanted him to hurt himself too. With this concerned look. I am sure that every parent dreams of their kids growing up close. I have no doubt that these two boys will grow up to be the best of friends. It must be easy being the youngest. Surrounded by older brothers and sisters

"You have a Friend In Me"

what is happening to us

2011-05-30T22:54:00.002-06:00

I have had a lot on my mind lately about what is happening to us these days and what a disservice I think we as parents might be doing to our children. I know everyone posts about this all the time and we all say we are guilty of it at times as well, but it doesn't seem that we do anything about it.

This last Saturday Mike went to Wendover with some co-workers, I had been at work all day and didn't want to make dinner besides it was memorial day weekend so we should do something fun right? Winter went to Lake Powell with my dad so it was just me and the 3 little kids so I let them pick. I am sure you will all be shocked to hear they picked McDonald's. So my kids got one of their awesome toys from Kung Fu Panda 2 and they were playing in the kids area Xavier came to tell me that some kid had taken his toy, So I went in to help him find it and this little kid had it, he was smaller so I told Xavier to just ask him nicely to give him his toy back, the kid wouldn't so I thought well we are at McDonald's they would all get the same toy maybe that one is his so I start looking all around the kid area for another toy laying around I don't see anything. Then a little switch happens Zarley set her toy down and Xavier picked it up and she thinks the same kid has picked it up I thought she might handle it better then Xman so I let her think it was hers missing and not his (upon further thought I can't help but think that is what happened then she took his so she had one) anyway we are looking for a toy and cant find one so I tell Zarley to go ask for another one well they won't give her another one they say she has to buy one for 1.82. NO way am I paying another 1.82 for a toy I will throw away when I already bought 3 kid meals. So I tell her sorry that's just how life is sometimes. Then I notice the little boy going home with his family, I notice the parents or grandparents( I really couldn't tell if they were parents or grandparents) anyway they are the couple that was sitting right on the bench watching me and my kids look all around for the damn toy, I also notice that they are leaving with 3 kids 3 toys, and only 2 kids meals. Really 2 kids meals? I was so angry yes it is a stupid toy but you obviously only bought 2 kids meals and and your littlest guy now has a toy, and you sat there watching me look for my kids toy, and your OK with it. That's what really got me, what are you teaching your kids, that it is OK to take someone else's toy, umm I hate to tell you but that is stealing. Zar was so upset she said that isn't fair she bought that and it was hers. I told her she was right and to remember that feeling, if she ever feels like she wants something of someone else's to remember how it feels. (not a lot of sympathy I know but I was really annoyed).

My next thing always causes a lot of controversy. So my teenager often says words she shouldn't I know that and Mike being a bit more sensitive than I am gets very angry, I like to pick my battles and also know as a teenager I said things that bugged my mom and knowing they bugged her made me want to say them even more, like singing the one potato two potato song (about farting). I am also guilty of saying things I shouldn't and I have been trying to be better about it. However there are certain things that bother me in this new politically correct world we live in. certain words that we use to say as kids and kids say now and have never been nice but now if you say them your a bigot hater. The part that bothers me is that they can say them and that is OK, I will go ahead and let you in on what I am saying since this is sounding much to cryptic... Fag and gay are the words Winter uses that she shouldn't but right now that isn't my point. The "N" word also falls into this category. If it is an offensive word isn't it offensive no matter who says it? Why is it OK for them either homosexual people to call each other fags or whatever but it is offensive if I say it, or for black people to call each other the "n" word but nobody else can say it I just don't get it. In that same thinking what about gay parades or BET. Would a straight parade or all white television be as accepted or would anyone involved in that be considered a racist or bigot? I just don't understand the double standard. Now go ahead and have your fits everyone.

My next thing is about competition or the lack there of, Winter competes in dance a lot. This year was a interesting yr, we tried some new companies and some of them have gone to this new system where your not against people but you are it is just stupid it kind of goes to this new way of thinking where everyone wins, drives me crazy. I don't pay as much money as I do for my kid to compete against a number system I want her to beat people.... This year wasn't as big of winning year for Winter but she tried a new style and she put herself into the advanced category. Which is another thing a lot of times we see people who have clearly put themselves in lower categories just to win,I just don't understand this I know everyone wants to win but don't you want to improve as well. The answer to this is NO. We are teaching our kids that they don't have to work hard anymore and everyone wins. This is not going to help them later in life because guess what not everybody gets the job or the promotion. The country is always saying we are falling behind in academics and such to China and other countries, well you want to know why? Because we are molly coddling our kids. Guess what peeps China doesn't molly coddle their kids they push them like no other. There is a definite head of the class, or a best hitter on the team. Don't kids need to learn that they aren't the best at everything or that hard work can make you better. My sister runs a dance studio, and some of the things that parents say or do baffles me (sorry Tiff if I ever fall into this craziness.) People always think their kids should be in the best groups and don't understand when they aren't put there. Can parents really not see what their kids are good at and where they are lacking or need more work? Oh and the reasons people come up with for missing important practices it just amazes me. Why aren't we teaching our kids the importance of commitment. My favorite is one mom saying she can't make things or whatever because she is really busy she has 4 kids you know.... seriously? My sister has 4 kids and is running her own business. Don't make the commitment if your to busy. Side note, my kid is the best! ;-)

I know it has been awhile since I let you all into the inner workings of my head, I am sure you all have missed this craziness. I bet right now you are all very envious of my husband and kids because they get to live with me and you all don't. Until next time.

How do you cope?

2011-04-07T09:16:00.002-06:00

How do you cope when your having a bad time of it? When it just seems like nothing is going your way. When I was younger I would run or go on really long walks, for a time I would drive to the beach that was only an option for a short time, oh how I would do anything to be able to do that right now. I have been trying to regain a love for running but I have to be honest I am not finding it.

I am failing at many aspects in my life right now and can't seem to find the way out. Mothering, I suck, left my kid screaming at school today tears and all and that was after an hour long battle to get dressed no breakfast, yelling not a happy way to start the day. Being a wife, not so great seems like we never have time for each other, and stress makes the time, strained I guess.

Housekeeping, never complete I don't know how people have clean houses all the time with everything put away and time to do fun things I can't find the balance, which is another way I am failing as a mother. I feel like I do everything I am not teaching my kids to clean up after themselves because after 50 times of asking it's just easier to do it myself, and my kids know that eventually I will do it, I suck!

Friend, well I don't really have any friends so I must no be a very good one. I know that peoples lives go in different directions so it makes friendships different but other than family I don't think I have any friends and family doesn't always count and besides that they all have friends they would rather spend time with or talk to. I am not the most positive, fun loving person I think this has something to do with it but I am who I am what can I do about that?

I am watching my kid struggle so much right now and it is killing me, I feel like nobody gets that. My family thinks I give in to her way to much and it is mostly my fault she is the way she is because I am not consistent enough or whatever. Mikes family thinks its my fault because I favor Winter. Mike thinks screaming or smacking her would solve the problem and I just sit here clueless. I am not equipped to be the mother of my own child and I don't know how to fix that. I am a failure!

Happy 10th Anniversary!

2011-02-23T21:24:00.005-07:00

February 24th, 2001 Mike and I got married. It was a fantastic day! I think we have learned some things over the last ten years. Seeing that we don't see eye to eye on much in life we have some how carved a path to life that works for us. So the following is a road map to the wedded bliss that we have perhaps it will help some of you to live the same Fabulous life we live.

10. Learn the other persons freaking ss#, we've been married long enough I know yours why cant you learn mine you know you need that kind of info for random stupid things all the time. Just learn it already for Pete's sake.

9. Learn to love them for there inner asshole/bitch because it's going to come out from time to time. Sometimes more than you would like.

8. Learn to love your spouse in spite of their kryptonite, whether its strep or mice or bed bugs, these things can cause stress if we don't accept it as a weakness and help them through it.

7. Work complete opposite schedules, not sleeping in the same bed more than 3 nights a week, or for that matter seeing each other more than like 30 min a day is always super helpful.

6.Don't be submissive. NO one is going to tell me what to do and God help the soul that thinks otherwise. This kind of an attitude can never lead to misunderstandings of simple favor requests or anything like that.

5. Don't freak out when they think someone else is good lookin, (unless you think that person is totally ugly and it makes you reconsider your own looks) I know we are all married but were married not blind or dead there are still good looking people of the opposite sex out there. Besides then maybe you can get ideas of other looks they might like for role play at a later time... (lol, I really kill myself)

4.Know what not to say to them or in front of the other IE, fag, retard, gay, God Damn, Jesus Christ, or F*%@ in any context.

3. On the few nights you do sleep in the same bed, please be a good bed partner, keep snoring, moving, cover stealing or messing up to a minimum.... Covers are suppose to be a certain way, learn this and don't mess it up.... PLEASE!

2. Remember as crazy as the others political opinions can be, you still love them, and we aren't arguing we are passionately discussing...... Lucky for us someones opinions don't count seeing that they don't have a right to vote in this country. Phewww, we have enough crazies voting as is. For the other you can rest easy this isn't your homeland so why do you care what your crazy spouse thinks.

1. Don't fight over money, Oh wait there isn't any to fight over.

All joking aside, it has been a colorful ten years and I wouldn't change any of it, well I might make some things a bit easier, but then maybe we wouldn't be who we are. I think the trials have brought us closer. We have 4 amazing and beautiful kids that we adore. I have the most hardworking husband ever, and even though I hate to admit it he makes me laugh all the time I would never tell him this but he is pretty damn funny! He puts up with all my craziness and usually only gives an eye roll here and there. He would do anything for me and our family and not everyone can say that some people put themselves first but not Mike. I love you Mike. So per your request I am going to try and dial back the crazy because we have a lot of years left to live together :-)

Random kid sayings.... probably only cute to me and maybe Mike

2011-02-02T23:35:00.002-07:00

So you know how sometimes your kids say things that you think are so cute, and funny and other people just look at you like, Oh that's really great thanks for sharing.... well this is one of those posts, so continue on at risk of your own boredom. I just don't want to forget all the cute things they say so I though I would write some of them down.

So last week one night Xavier came in my bed he said his bullay (belly) hurt so I had him climb in bed with me he tossed and turned and whimpered for quite a while. Then he just sat up almost defeated like and said "my bullay just hurts so bad mom" it was the sweetest thing ever. We tried several things like going potty or rubbing it, finally he just laid down and fell asleep but it was really sweet.

Zarley says some pretty funny stuff all the time unfortunately it is a lot funnier if you can hear her sass or her fit throwing while this is happening.... like waking up in the mornings often put me in a terrible mood right off the bat, but every once in a while I cant help but just laugh. She will roll around in bed while I am trying to get her up and yell in her deep raspy voice: "why why does there always have to be school, school is so stupid I hate school I hate waking up early, why does there ever have to be such thing as waking up early.... and it goes on. We also have similar break downs from her on homework, why why does there have to be homework I hate homework its so stupid there should never be homework, why why do we have to go to school then come home and do more work, I am not doing it I am not, nope nope not doing it you can't make me do it. Usually I am so irritated I can't find it funny until telling someone else about it then its funny to me but definitely not in the moments.. Tonight she said something to and I cant even remember what it was about,(which is part of why I am writing some stuff down) we were getting ready for bed and Owen and I were talking about something and she said I am 7, Seven yr olds don't do that... like duh you idiots.

Owen is a funny little guy, he takes some things very seriously and gets grossed out by things pretty easy... The other night after playing with Canyon for quite some time he came home and so seriously said to me, mom I know something that is hairy,(big serious eyes) I said oh yea what? he said Tom's arms,now looking kind of disgusted... it was really funny and Tom does have pretty hairy arms. When I was telling Tom and Tiffany they knew exactly what I was going to say, Tom said Owen looked at him like WTF is that that's not right... and if you ask him if he wants hairy arms he says no way that's not cute, I said well is it manly and he said no its not.

Another cute thing Xavier does again needs to be heard is sings like 2 lines of You are so Beautiful to me (just like Alfalfa on little rascals high notes and all) 2 lines is all he does and Winter has it recorded on her phone and if I were computer savvy I would know how to download it but I am not so there...

Like I said only a blog a mother (and a father can love) Oh well I will hopefully get better at adding to this post when my kids make me laugh....

Happy Birthday Zarley

2011-01-10T17:31:00.004-07:00

Happy Birthday Zarley. Seven years ago I had Zarley, a few days earlier than we expected and everything about her has been a little more then we have expected ever since and I don't think it is going to change anytime soon. My contractions with Zarley started early in the morning but I kept going about my day cleaning and doing laundry, Mike kept bugging me, maybe we should go to the hospital and I kept putting it off. My contractions had become irregular but they were pretty intense, I finally decided to put Mikes mind at ease seeing it was a first for him and I called the Dr. the on call Dr. said to lay down and relax and they would either go away or increase and become more regular, so I laid down on our bed while Mike laid next to me Watching the Rams in some playoff game. Not 10 minutes after getting off the phone with the Dr. my water broke, I sat up quickly (well as quickly as a 9mo pregnant person can sit up). I said to Mike I think my water just broke, or I peed my pants. To this he responded, Get OFF the bed, your on my side hurry get off the bed. I stood up and sure enough more water came out. SO I told him it was now time to go. He started rushing around yelling for Winter to get ready to go, we jumped in the car and drove all the way to St. Marks where my parents met us to take Winter. We did all the check in stuff they checked me all out called my Dr. did the whole hospital thing and then at about 6:29 or 6:39 (horrible mother not sure on the time exactly right now)We had Zarley, side note while in the O.R. Mike feels it a good time to tell me he can't believe I couldn't wait for the game to be over, it was the playoffs you know. Can you believe him? It took us the whole hospital stay to decide on her name, I was in the wheel chair and the nurse was impatiently waiting for us to sign the birth certificate. Zarley Elizabeth Howard. 7lbs 4oz. She was so adorable, and very much worth the wait we had to endure to get her.

She dances to the beat of her own drum.
But don't let this angelic face fool you.

Because this girl is a Fire Cracker. It is her way or no way.

She doesn't give in she knows what she wants and doesn't settle for anything less.
She has definitely kept life interesting over the last 7 years. It seems like it has gone by so fast. She was such a cute chubby little baby and she just gets more beautiful the older she gets. Right now I can find her stubborn, non negotiable self a bit challenging, I am sure all those qualities will take her far in life. If and When she sets her mind to something she does it and it seems to be as simple as that. She decides to do it therefore it will be done. I love listening to her play and she can be so funny. I am loving watching her grow up and can't wait to see where life takes her.

Happy Birthday Zar Zar We love you!

Thanksgiving to Christmas and everything in between

2010-12-31T12:32:00.025-07:00

OK, so here are our Holiday in review, I tried to get the pics on myself but for some reason our computer wouldn't upload, so I was dependant on Mikes help from work, (thanks Mike your the best). So for Thanksgiving this year we (White's) rented a cabin up near Brighton and went up there for a few days to celebrate and just spend time together it has been a few years since we have all been able to go on a trip together. It was so much fun and The Best Thanksgiving ever!This is a long post sorry but I hope you enjoy our holidays as much as we did.

my dad making his famous waffles for breakfast
Below is a poker game going on at the cabin, Sooo Intense! Here are the guys watching football
the kids doing crafts with our own Mary Poppins aka Shawna
another poker game
Mike and Blanca helping the kids with stuff before sitting for dinner
Thanksgiving Dinner
We had so much fun the kids were able to sled right outside the door down the driveway, one of the days they spent hours out there. We all Made Pies together on Wednesday night and cooked together Thursday morning. My dad made his famous waffles, Troy made us breakfast burritos we played other games and got in the hot tub, we girls even drove down for Black Friday at midnight... Seriously best ever.

The kids sledding down the driveway

Next in the season we had our annual dance recital, Tiffany broke it into two shows and the Dance Team was suppose to do both shows, well the first number of the first show Winter fell and sprained her ankle really bad and wasn't able to perform the rest of the day, she was heartbroken and so was I, I was really looking forward to her solo that I had yet to see. At first the Dr. (who totally looked like Uncle Buck) told us her foot was broken but then a few days later they called us back and said upon further review from radiology its just a sprain. None the less no dancing for Winter for 4 weeks.

Zarley in her number

Zar again she had a cute song this yr. Zthat you Santa Clause
Winter moments before the big injury

We went to the Nutcracker for Winters Bday with some dance friends and to watch one of her Best Friends Lexi perform.

The cake our nice neighbor made for Winter
Then came time for the preschool program, I love it, I have seen it 6 times now and still love it and can't wait for the next two with Xman. Owen knows the songs and gets so excited then kind of looks like a dud when the time comes to perform, I am wondering if he has a little stage fright.

Next in our season we had a few different Ugly sweater events. I had an ugly sweater Bunco party which was tonz of fun, Mike had an ugly sweater party at work on his bday, and Winter planned an ugly sweater day at school. She was so excited to wear her sweater to school. (thanks grandma Sharon for providing her sweater for her.)

Mike and Winter in their sweaters. notice how they pretty much hide our
Charlie Brown tree. I told you it was a sad little tree.

Audrey and Shawna at Bunco, Shawna was the winner
with her homemade sweater that really had working lights.

side note, we also had Mikes Birthday in the mix, which we celebrated on Christmas eve with his family, but I don't have any pictures of that.
Next came Christmas, we were absolutely horrible at pictures this year, we even took our camera with us and just didn't take any pictures Pathetic I think so.

the loot before the kids came down except Xavier's his is in the other corner of the room that is not shown here.

opening gifts

out of order but pics of the kids as they came down the stairs to open gifts.

On Christmas Eve we had breakfast with my family, and we read the story out of the bible and get pajama's from the pajama fairy, then I did some last minute shopping, then we headed to the Howard's for Mikes bday and there Christmas eve, which is mostly the same as ours we get pajamas and an ornament from the Christmas Tree and read Twas the Night before Christmas. This year Kerry and Our family each got a copy of the book with the recording, David reading the story and it is pretty cool. Some of the Howard's left for a while and went to church while the rest of us stayed and made cookies and just played, then we ended our night and went home to bed. In the morning we wake up and open our gifts, then my parents come over for Breakfast and to bring the kids their gifts and see what Santa brings them, I love this my grandparents use to do the same thing I Love that my parents get to see what ALL their grand kids get for Christmas, they don't watch us open but they make the rounds to every ones house to give gifts and spend some one on one time with each family, seeing that they don't have little people anymore but want to enjoy some of that fun and excitement. Then we head to the Howard's for the opening of gifts with them. I made Jackson and Wyland some superhero capes, I was quite proud of myself,(thanks for the help audge!) then we have a nice dinner and do our cracker things (English tradition). Then it was off to the studio for fun with my family. My mom hosts Christmas dinner with her family then when that ends all of us siblings and the kids exchange gifts. Shawna provided us with all the stuff to play Minute to Win It. It was a lot of fun, thanks for the game Shawna and like I said we sucked at picture taking. That wraps up our Christmas fun. New years again No pics, but we just hung out and played Poker then the next night all adults(my siblings) met for dinner with our ugly sweaters and then went to Shawna and Andrews for games. It was fun. I love how close my family is and even though there are a ton of us and it is loud and crazy we still have so much fun together and we all get along and mesh so well even though there are so many different personalities. Here's to a Happy New Year, hope its even better then last year.

Christmas

2010-12-15T22:02:00.002-07:00

I LOVE Christmas love it my favorite holiday but I have a few complaints that have been driving me crazy so I decided to share...
1. I really can't stand the fact Christmas is such a bad word these days, I mean really If I take the time to wish you a Merry Christmas its a good thing I am not trying to offend you, I am taking the time to wish goodness and happiness upon you. If someone wished me a Happy Hanukkah, or Happy Kwanzaa I would not be offended I would just say thank you or something this drives me crazy.
2. Why oh why can't schools have Christmas parties? why do they have to be Holiday parties or winter Parties, we had Christmas parties as kids and I think we are all fine. In fact in my 5th grade class we had a Jewish student and our teacher did a whole special party where he got to tell us all about Hanukkah and we played the dradel game and all sorts of things it was really fun, and we still had a Christmas party. I have no problem with my kids learning about other "celebrations of cultures but I don't know why we cant also stay the same.
3. Kind of the same as 2. but a bit different Why do old songs have to change are we really so sensitive that a song hurts our feeling really? For Winters choir at school they have to change the words to "We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a happy Hanukkah, we wish you a happy Kwanzaa" really does anyone know where to find this song, no because it doesn't exist, it is just stupid. Also do you realize that some schools don't let kids sing Christmas songs if they say Christmas.
4. I can't stand when people cant spell out Christmas and they just put Xmas. Are we such a lazy ungrateful society that we cant even spell out the meaning... Christmas is suppose to be about Christ not X. I am not an overly religious person but boy does this really drive me crazy.
5. I really don't like Christmas stuff going out in stores before Halloween is even over, I know I have said it on this blog before but Thanksgiving is getting pushed out by the commercialization of Christmas.
6. I also don't like when people have to be recognized for everything, isn't Christmas about the spirit of giving? I have known some people that give so unselfishly to others and don't ever say a word about it, I have a lot of respect for these people and admire them dearly, this is the true meaning of Christmas. Santa is suppose to be this magical person who gives to everyone and gets nothing in return so when people need to be known for what they give, ugh I don't know why it bugs....
7. I hate neighbor gifts, it seems like people get so stressed about what to get there neighbors with out spending a lot of money, or just finding the time to get it all done. If you don't want to do it then just don't do it. I am a bad neighbor and I don't do them it isn't that I don't like my neighbors it is that I don't want to worry about getting them out on time or getting the right things. I feel like I am basically a single mother most the time so shopping, wrapping, school programs, regular life, family stuff, I just don't want to do it sorry neighbors.
Now I will list some of the things I love.
1. Christmas music, I love it. currently (for the past couple of years) my favorite is Alan Jackson's Let it be Christmas. look it up give it a listen I love it.
2. I love spending the individual time shopping with my kids.
3. I love finding the perfect gift for someone and giving it to them. Or watching my kids get what they really want.
4. I love how into Christmas Mike gets and how he is willing to go shopping and searching for all the right things with me.
5. I love that last year and this year Mike has taken all our gift to work with him and wraps while at work so we aren't left to wrap everything all on Christmas eve.
6. I love sub for Santa's, or being a part of them, knowing that we are helping someone that is truly less fortunate than us... We have our struggles but we don't go without and others do and knowing that your helping someone else have a better Christmas is a great feeling. On that note I love that my sisters dance studio has provided one for us to donate to for the last two yrs so we don't have to find our own Thanks Tiffany.
7. I love the preschool Christmas program I will have seen it for the 6th time next week not including watching my nieces or nephews do the same one, yet I still love it.
8. I love the goofy little Christmas ornaments my kids make for me for Christmas. I have the same one from each of my kids up to Owen so far from preschool (please pray there is enough enrollment for the 3yr old next yr so I can get one from Xavier to).
Basically I love Christmas and all the tradition that comes with it, and the new ones that we make. Follow up maybe more will come to mind on either list this is just all that is on my mind for now.

Edited to add:
Another thing I don't like about Christmas and I know so many disagree, I don't like Christmas songs sung in other languages. It drives me crazy, for some reason Felice Nave' DA (sp?) is the exception....

Happy 13th Birthday Winter

2010-12-15T00:22:00.002-07:00

Winter turned 13 and everyone keeps asking me if it feels weird to have a teenager. To answer that no and yes. Winter has always been older than her age so it doesn't seem like a new thing to me she doesn't seem different I guess. But as Autumn put it, it does seem weird that we met 13 years ago already. Some days it seems like the time as just gone by in a flash and other days I just cant remember life without her in it so it seems longer than 13 yrs.

Winter amazes me more and more the older she gets. She has always been smart and funny and social but as she gets older I admire those qualities more and more. She has to help out a lot seeing that Mike is gone a lot and I know she doesn't love it but she does it. I think some people think we spoil her and give her everything and I guess we do but what kids these days aren't spoiled? I think she deserves a lot of it though. She is 13 just entered into middle school which is suppose to be a rough transition for us it hasn't been. She had a 4.0 last quarter, was on the honor roll was nominated for "diamondback of the month" at school, she dances about 9 hours a week plus helps student teach 2 hours a week not to mention all the babysitting she does for us. I know that we don't tell her enough how proud we are of her and all that she is doing at such a young age.

She is a beautiful dancer and it amazes me how far she has come with it. Its her passion and I hope she never loses that. She is also wickedly funny, Sometimes over the top obnoxious but still funny, I enjoy spending time with her and I think that says a lot about a 13 yr old girl. She knows everyone and people seem to flock to her and like being around her. She is very social and needs to be around people all the time.

It was a pretty mellow birthday for her but I hope she enjoyed it. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to the most awesome teenager I know. Love you Winter.

Christmas Tree hunt

2010-11-23T01:29:00.005-07:00

So a few weeks ago my sister Autumn sent out a text saying she was going to get tags for Christmas tress if anyone wanted to go should be at her house at 5:30 am. Its only 10 bucks for a tag and I thought OK we will give a try why not right. So a group of us met up bright and early the next morning and drove up to midway for our tags. To say the least we weren't nearly as prepared as some people. Obvious rookies but just that experience was a good time with Dapper Dan and the rest of the crew. So we planned to go the Sunday before Thanksgiving because the ranger guy told us the earlier the better for more choice on trees. So this Sunday we headed up.
I thought it was so much fun. We trudged through the snow that was "crotch" deep (Tiff's words). Xavier and Annika didn't dig it to much so lucky for us grandma Kathryn had come along for the fun and was sitting in the car with Gabby girl where Xman and Annika spent the majority of the time as well. The rest of the kids did really well as we hiked in the snow and wandered around looking for the tree that spoke to us. Another good thing Grandma and Granddad joined us, my dad had a chainsaw and nobody else brought one. Like I said before obvious rookies. Audge and Dan found their tree first and brought it down to the cars, Tom and Tiff, next or Autumn and Mitch not sure, Mike and I were the last to claim our tree for the afternoon. Unfortunately Andrew and Shawna and Corbin and Jaimie didn't have a tree speak to them and the weather was turning and time running out so we all headed home. Those lucky sons of guns get to go do it all again hopefully with better luck next time. (don't forget a saw guys). Anyway here are a few random pictures that Mike chose, there wasn't many options due to the snow and huge gloves. Our trees are very Charlie Brownish but I think I speak for us all when I say we chose them they are ours and we love them. Thanks Autumn for the great idea, I hope we all make it a new tradition I for one had a great time. Owen, Olivia, Canyon in the snow
The yucky weather as we follow Andrew up the canyon
Madz and Zar in the snow
Shawna and Xav before he gave up

How did we spend our time?

2010-11-17T23:21:00.003-07:00

So I have been trying to upload pictures for a Halloween post for a week or more now and every time I try it says it can't upload "program isn't responding" uggh so frustrating... So I thought I would ask this Question because I was thinking about it today....
As kids how did we spend our time? My kids have been movie fanatics lately, I can't even tell you how many times I've watched the Cat in the Hat or Shrek, or Home Alone or Batman. When Zarley comes home from school she says I haven't even watched any TV and wants to watch TV or movies. I don't have this problem in the summer because my kids spend almost every waking minute outside but it's cold now so we are inside and all they want to do is watch something on TV. So today as my boys were fighting over watching a show they were going to watch when we got back from errands I thought what did I do as a kid because I know I wasn't watching movies all the time because I think my family was the very last in America to get a VHS. I played I think all the time really I don't remember I seem to have a horrible memory when it comes to my childhood... I know I played Barbies I know I had an imaginary friend that I did everything with and I know I didn't watch so much TV.
Now days our kids watch TV constantly in the car in their rooms all day if they aren't watching TV they are on the computer or playing video games. What ever happened to good old fashion playtime? I think technology is the downfall of creativity and playtime (not to mention the American family right mike? ;} ). So although it is fantastic at times and really what would life be like with out it, what would life be without it? Maybe a bit more imaginative?
So think about what you did and what do your kids do?

Annual White Girls Weekend

2010-10-04T21:48:00.028-06:00

So this last weekend was our annual White Girl Weekend. It was so much fun. We all get together for a weekend and go up to my grandpa's cabin for a get away. A couple of years ago we started to include Jaimie and Shawna which has been a nice addition and has been able to give them a complete inside look into our family. I think its safe to say that after these kinds of trips they know full well what they are getting themselves into and we can't wait for Jaimie to be official this Friday. Anyway back to our trip, some of us bring up crafts or projects to do some of us (me) don't. We bring up good food fun games and it is always a good time.
Nat chillin on her lawn chair before an amazing round of Times up.

Jaimie (your last chance to back out)
The girls discussing and getting ready to go down to Dicks in kamas for some delicious food another part of the tradition. We always drive down for lunch

Audrey, chillin

Everyone preparing for game time. In case any one is wondering, yes all the animals are real... and old. My grandparents who built the Cabin along with my Great Grandparents were big into hunting.

Tiffany setting up her quilting frames outside because it was the only place she could get reception for conference. She made a quilt start to finish this weekend. Good job Tiff!

This is a little history in the cabin. It is a real coal burning stove. I love it and was kind of sad we didn't use it this trip. It was so warm we actually didn't need to make a fire due to the warm weather over the weekend.

Just a shot of the front of the cabin you cant really see the outhouse behind the tree but it is there. Luckily the weather was warm so the water was still on so we didn't have to use the outhouse.

Just some of the beauty that was right outside our door.

Craft time

Gabby got to come because she is still on the tit... Which was also a contest for us.... To see who could say "on the tit" in the most and different ways, to bug my mom because she hates that phrase/word... Autumn was the winner.

my mom chillin like a villan

Some more of the outside beauty. One of my other favorite outdoor places besides Lake Powell, it is also always so pretty up here in the Uintas

the dirt road to get to the cabin... I thought this was a cool picture.

This is literally right out the front door. The Cabin is against the hill side and this is the view you have when looking out the front door. I wish you could see the colors a little better. It was very pretty. I had so much fun it was such a much needed break for me and who better to spend it with then my best friends, my sisters and my mom. So glad everyone was able to make it this year. One of these years we will get Blanca to join us as well. Can't wait til next year girls.

Lake Powell/ Howard family style

2010-09-15T10:56:00.010-06:00

We went to Lake Powell with the Howard clan over Labor day this year. Due to Mikes work schedule we had to be back on Monday so we couldn't get the dates to line up perfectly with everyone else so our little family of 6 (plus Winters friend Mckenna) headed down really early (4am) Thurs morning with the boat and everyone else joined us Friday evening so we essentially had 2 days by ourselves. I loved it! Now to be clear I don't think I can go to Powell and not love it but I really enjoyed just being there with my little family it was so fun! The Howard's do it a bit different than I am use to but a little to my surprise it wasn't all that bad. I have to say that Lake Powell is absolutely one of my favorite places in the whole world. I get so excited as we get closer and closer and no matter how many times I go there I am still in awe of the beauty that surrounds me down there. I have notice this year a few things that make me crazy and wonder what in the hell is happening to this world... Laptops, satellites... that's right everyone I said it. I just don't understand why its impossible for people now days to go with out theses luxuries for a few days. Is work or anything really so important that we can't take a few days off of everything anymore? We went to the marina one day and I saw a couple trying to get on line I was in shock and have to admit I loudly wished that they couldn't find service. Take your eyes off the Internet and look up and around you, there is so much to be seen and explored there. We stayed at the campground where people have their trailers with there satellite dishes up outside, I just don't get it. Anyway back to the trip....
We got Zarley out trying the wake board (her idea) then we got Owen out with Mike giving it a shot originally his idea then us forcing him to stick out his idea. I think he enjoyed it after all because he talked about it a lot. The girls and Johnathon did some tubing and cliff jumping and wake boarding it was a lot of fun and I was sad when we had to leave because it means the end of summer and because I just love it there. Can't wait til next year and now some pictures out of order because I have had so much trouble getting them on the blog tonight and have no more patience to try and fix it. Enjoy!
Winter, Johnny,Mckenna getting ready to jump

Xavier in his daily napping spot. Usually much needed

the kids tubing

Mike and Owen

Zar trying to pull herself up

I don't know who but someone landing
after a jump

Winter, Zarley, Mckenna tubing

I believe Evan blurry but oh well

That's all folks!

First day of School again/Owen

2010-09-08T23:34:00.006-06:00

So Owen had his first day of preschool today, and he was so excited to ride with his friend Brevin who is going to school with him this year along with his cousin Jackson. Xavier thought he was going to school to it was kind of sad and cute all at the same time he had a back pack on and all. So here are some first day of school pictures in no particular order.
Owen Brevin and Xav in front of the tree

Owen and Brevin coming out of school

The 3 boys on the ride home

Owen by himself in front of the tree

Jr. High

2010-08-26T21:57:00.005-06:00

So Winter started Jr. High this week, Sure makes you feel old to send your kid to Jr. High and the time goes by so fast,(I swear I am only 27). We are headed into uncharted waters. The highs and lows of teenage life. We say goodbye to the days of mommy knows everything and my mom is the smartest best ever, she can fix it all and we say hello to the days of my mom is so stupid, my parents are the worst ever, or Ugh your so ANNOYING. This has already started I took Winter shopping this week and she would ask for my opinion then not want it or say I was no help, or say "ugh your so ANNOYING". Where does the time go? Other moms ahead of me in parenting have warned me of the difficulties of Jr high, (sigh) but Winter loves school and is the most social person I have ever met and she seems to be a bit more mature for her age, so I am hoping that all of this will help us to not have quite as rough of a year than others before us.

in front of the apple tree

walking to meet her friends, do you love the super

heroes backpack?

She is such a weird and funny girl. We have our moments that we get along and I feel like she is able to talk to me about most things I hope we can keep this relationship as we enter into these crazy years. Good luck Winter!

advice needed asap

2010-08-25T21:28:00.002-06:00

So I guess I spoke to soon on our good school days... Today Zar came home with a paper saying she got a think time, the paper said she wouldn't do her work in class and that after 50 min no work was completed so she got a think time..(sigh) when I asked her about it first she said she didn't know then she said she didn't do her work because she was trying to think of the letters for purple. I asked if she asked the teacher for help she said no she said the teacher doesn't help people. From my conversation with her I don't think she understands the think time thing.

I guess I should actually back up a little, on the first day of school first grade doesn't go they each get like a 15 min meeting with the teacher then they start the second day in this meeting I tried to explain to the teacher how we have an anxiety problem and have some things we are trying to work through and I told the teacher that I had a meeting with a Dr. the next day to start the process to deal with this, Well I was super emotional about this and cried (how embarrassing especially with my firm belief that tears show weakness.) anyway the teacher thought I was talking about myself for a minute (adding to the embarrassment) I thought I cleared it up now I am not so sure...
Mike and I went to see this Dr. and we went over Zarleys history and our history and everything anyway the Dr. definitely thinks there is anxiety there his concern was what is fueling the anxiety and he believes there is a possible learning disability that is fueling it (finally someone confirming my own beliefs instead of making me feel like her behavior is all my fault) anyway we decided the best form of action would to be a full evaluation as opposed to just treating anxiety well that appointment is set for Sept 9th.
So back to my problem already Zar has come home with work from school that was suppose to be done in school and she had to finish at home. A note has been sent home saying homework wont start til next week so it isn't homework and I have asked other moms and their kids aren't bringing home papers to finish. So back to today and the think time, What do I do? How do I approach this the right way with the teacher because to me it is clear she needs more help and I don't think the think times are the right approach but I don't want to attack the teacher. I do feel like she is going to be labeled the bad kid or get the feeling that she is bad and whatever. Trying to get her homework done tonight was not fun she didn't want to do it she scribbled all over the paper and said she wasn't doing the work or going to school and I feel like oh boy here we go again.
Well I hope this makes sense I feel like I was all over the place. So any advice on how to proceed would be much appreciated...

First day of school: Zarley

2010-08-24T21:20:00.006-06:00

So I am happy to report that we had our first day of 1st grade and actually we have had a whole week now and no major meltdowns. A few minor meltdowns but nothing really Zarley worthy. She got up and dressed on her own almost the whole week. This week hasn't been quite as successful but still no major meltdowns. Wahoo! She is a funny little girl one night last week she told me "Well I thought I first grade was going to be really a lot of fun, turns out its not so much." She also told me she isn't sure she likes her teacher, there is something, she just isn't sure what it is that she doesn't like yet. She hasn't figured it out. In front of the apple tree a first day tradition

Here she is in front of the school standing in her

designated line.

Other good news, her and Winter have been getting a long so well lately she even let Winter help her while trying her on school clothes and She let Winter help her get ready on the first day.

And doesn't she rock those skinny jeans... You should see her butt, she looks so cute.... Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside those jeans?
I had much more emotions about first grade then I did kindergarten I blame my sister as she so nicely pointed out the day before school started, her life will never be the same. Its a full day of school, its not the 2 1/2 hours that kindergarten is then home to play like the kid you are no now it is all day for the next what 16 yrs (including college here) then you have to work. Now that is sad so all you first time kindergarten moms enjoy because next yr is when life really changes.

Whats better the 1 Lake Powell Trip?

2010-08-13T02:33:00.008-06:00

White Family & Friends

Lake Powell 2010

By Mike

We made our annul pilgrimage to lake Powell last weekend. Wow what a place. It really it that happy place they tell you to think about when things are not going well. Due to some changes in my work responsibility's I have a little less flexibility with my hours. I got off work at 07:00 well kinda 07:00 more like 08:00. As I got home we put the finishing touches on the packing and I drove some to get us out of town until i started to get tired. Then i hopped into the back of the Excursion and get some Z's as Amber took over. Really the way to travel cause the next thing I know we are pulling into Page AZ. Meet up with everyone one and we were off to our spot. By the time we got there got unloaded and set up as storm rolled in (This will turn out to be a common theme. Once we weathered the storm I decided we needed to get something down for Dinner i BBQ'ed up some burgers in the Tornado/hurricane. We ate some dinner went up to get into bed. And i was so excited to use this new bed set we got for the trip. Minor problem. The sheets, blanket and pillows were missing one key thing. An air mattress. "Lame Sauce" So me and Amber and Winter toughed it out on the floor while the smaller kids got the air mattress's. Day two started like a typical Lake Powell day. Chased out of our tent bye the 100 degree temp inside the tent. Got some lake time in. And then the afternoon storm came in (See) and we all had to rush back and take down our tents until the weather pushed through. For the second night in a row we ate our dinners in our tent. The third day was nothing short of shit! We did not even move the boats out of the beach and just delt with the wind and rain. Until it was dark then we finally got to eat dinner with everyone else. As we talked about it myself and Tiffany had decided that Sunday would be recover day. We were going to hit it early and hit it hard. On the final day Winter wakes me up to tell me that Tiffany and Tom are going out. Recovery day so i had to pull up my boot straps and man up and get in the water early. But really what a good time. Myself, Tom and Tiff went out and had great water. Great turns and really was looking up. Great day finally on the last day. Perfect "Lake Powell weather" And the people that left the night before missed out on the best day. Below are some of the pics from the trip.

Me and the boys looking like bad ass'es

Winter Wake boarding. Winter really set her

mind to it and got up on her first turn and

really did amazing

Zar - Zar riding shoot gun on the Tube

Lake Powell tradition to bury someone. Winter

Xav'ey James gettin his eat on

Weather sucked but Lake Powell is lake powell and i would much rather be stuck there on a rainy sandy beach then here at my desk. Got to love Powell cant't wait to get back with my parents.

2010-07-29T00:15:00.003-06:00

So as it stands right now I see my husband for maybe about 24 hours a week, there for my intellectual conversation is very limited I am really starting to feel the toll its taking on my brain. Most of my conversation are with kids 6 and under which doesn't give me a lot of practice using my brain, the 2 days a week I do go to work I am with elderly people who either don't know what I am saying or I don't have a clue what they are saying either way not a lot of brain use is happening for me which leaves me to my own thoughts for most of the week (that can be scary trust me.) So although I am still talking to myself for the most part I thought I would share some of my recent self to self thoughts and or irritations.
1. I cant stand bikini moms, I don't mean moms that can wear a bikini because believe me if I could pull one off I would. I mean the mom that is more interested in working on her tan or gossiping with her friends than paying attention to what the hell her small child is doing. You cant just throw a life jacket on your kid and think all is well. Get in the water and play with your kid or stay home, these years with our little ones are so short soon they will grow up and be embarrassed of us or think we are to lame to hang around with.
2. When did stores and hospitals or doctors office have to post on their doors "no pets allowed"? Call me crazy but when I was little I swear people understood that dogs were pets and they belong at home not in your purse everywhere you go. I know that service animals are the exception so don't anyone get all crazy on me but how often do you go somewhere and people have their damn pets with them. I hate to break it to you people they are your pets, they're animals not your kid if you want something to dress up and take everywhere to show off have a kid. ( yes Autumn you count in this. )
3. I know I have said this before but people without kids, you don't know what your talking about, and its not as easily done as you would like to think so stop thinking those of us with kids are idiots and your going to be such a better parent than some of us.. ha ha I cant wait to laugh at you.
4. when money is as tight as it is around here you start to think about Christmas early trying to plan where the money is going to come from which brings me to my next train of thought, if you don't care to take the time to buy something for someone that they would truly like or if you don't know them well enough to even know what that is why are you buying the gift? For me it kind of takes away from the kindness when its done out of obligation as opposed to I really thought you would like this or I really took the time to try to find something for you.
5. This one will without a doubt get me into trouble. Is it possible to have to much family as in to much extended family? We spend quite a bit of time with both of our families that sometimes it seems we are missing out on making our own family traditions and stuff. So my concern comes from what about when my kids are grown are they going to want to come around when we don't have any of our own traditions in place, hard as the realization is grandparents wont be around forever and eventually extended families grow so big that some splitting has to be done. In my family I think we are getting to that with our Thanksgiving traditions and it seems to be a hard thing to change, So it worries me a bit about my own little family of 6.
6. The last thing that I have been thinking about lately is the realization of how insignificant I am in my world, or the harsh realization that what I might have thought to be insecurities aren't really insecurities after all but actual facts of life. hmm that one really sucks .
I am sure that sounds cryptic and my husband will be crazy mad trying to figure it out its not meant to be just not sure how to explain it after all this is just me thinking aloud so to speak. And lastly for anyone wondering "oh I wonder which one pertains to me, you all have issues if you think something pertains to you that's on you to figure out these are just my crazy thoughts I am not speaking about anything in general just things I have thought about lately with all the time I have to think.. (except for the dog thing that does pertain to some peeps._

Broken hearted

2010-07-01T00:59:00.007-06:00

So we haven't had a very easy go of it the last couple of weeks. My M.D tells me its anxiety from the school yr coming to an end. The week we got back from our trip and had to go back to school was less than fun every morning was a battle with yelling and crying one day I left Zar crying at school I always hate that. Every day we left the house crying all the way to school (we've been walking which makes it a longer trip to school).
Everyday is full of phrases I am so tired of hearing, "that's what you get for....., or I hate you because..., or Thanks a lot "(not meant politely) or just crying or hitting etc you get the picture. This week has been even worse than last week, One night Zarley was having a complete meltdown because she had decided she wanted McDonald's for dinner and I wasn't complying with this demand. So the screaming and fit throwing began, I calmly took her up to her room where she didn't stay she came down yelling and throwing things. She slammed the drawer shut over and over until the front of it broke off. She calms down here and there but always starts back up. She said to me in her deep raspy voice, " I still hate you and your still a butt hole and the other "b" word, and your stupid and I wish you weren't my mother cuz your just stupid and lazy, and you didn't go anywhere today so you could go in the car and get me McDonald's but no you just sit on your lazy ass all day and do nuffing, I want McDonald's" followed by much crying. I was proud of myself I stayed very calm where I normally flip out at some point and I think that bothered her she didn't get the reaction she usually gets from me but it didn't stop her.
My pediatrician recommended I take her to the neurological and behavior center which I finally got an appointment for but not till august and my deductible is a separate 800.00 bucks!
Today was the worst, and it broke my heart.... She came home from school in a not so good mood she smacked Owen upside the back of his head because he said something was a butterfly and it wasn't "so that's what he gets" I told her she can't do that and told her to go inside of course she didn't listen so I was making her go inside she was crying and then threw a pencil at my head, it hurt and now I am bleeding and she is screaming I didn't want to make her go inside any more because Mike was sleeping and had stayed up while I went to the school for the dance festival.(oh joy!) and I could tell she wasn't calming down anytime soon now. So my sister said I could put her in her room. Well that brings up another problem, I can't leave her alone, she gets destructive and my house is one thing but I can't have her destroying someone Else's. So I go up with her and I am sitting by her trying to talk to her (its not going well) As I am bleeding from my head and it is hurting I am watching her roll on the ground and cry and trying to tell her that she hurt me and she says she doesn't care. (I really don't know if she does or not at this point her fit has moved to being upset because I refuse to give her back the pencil she threw at me) I just look at her beautiful little face and I am so sad, tears start streaming down my face (I know what your thinking that kid is terrible and she should be smacked or I would do this I have heard it all and tried a lot of it) I know I should be so mad but I am nothing but sad and broken hearted that my little girl is struggling so much and I don't know how to help her and she doesn't know how to stop or change her mood(again Dr. Amber talking) and it is just so so heartbreaking as a mom... Her mood changed at some point but needless to say it wasn't the end of our meltdowns for the day. I hope we can make it til august.

2010-06-24T01:57:00.014-06:00

"California 2010"

By - Mike

Here are the pictures that have been promised. We had a fantastic time in California. To be honest I work a lot of hours and really only get to see the highs of my kids. I see them in the morning before they go to school and then for a second in the afternoon before i go to work. And its such a rarity to see me they are excited and give me kisses and hugs and off i go to work. Amber has to do the bed times and homework and house work duty's alone and she has to deal with the fits. Well now that i was around 24/7 I had to help deal with the fits. They had to deal with me getting mad and honestly took a day or two to get used to each other again. Pretty sad when you think about it but, "It is what it is" Once we got over that hump i think we started to have a really good time. I was supposed to leave work early and get home and start the trip but that did not work out as planned. I got home late and tried to throw the things in the car and do the final packing and take the dogs to my moms. So we got on the road later then expected. Amber and i had decided we did not want to tackle the full trip in one drive so we decided our first stop would be Vegas. We stayed in the Golden Nugget which has decent rooms and a really cool pool. There is a shark tank in the middle of the pool that you can swim around and there is a water slide through the middle of it. I was the only one who actually went through the tank. When we got to Vegas and checked in we swam for a min and then changed and walked Fremont street. The kids were less then impressed. But after that we went to bed got up and headed for S.D. We stayed at the Double tree in SD best hotel of the trip. Got some swimming in and went to Christopher's and Erin's meet and greet over desert. Got to meet Christopher and put a face to this wonderful guy Erin keeps talking about. And as the kids were getting restless i took Zarley, Owen, and X-man to the beach by the house.

Brother and Sister in the Evening.

After the meet and greet we went back to the hotel. Grandma Sharon got all the kids the City pass's from Costco. This allows you 1 day at either San Diego Zoo or Wild Animal Park, 1 day at Universal studios and 3 days at Disneyland. Amber was indifferent with what we do in San Diego so i thought since SLC had a zoo we would hit the Wild Animal Park. And the the Wedding in the evening.

Family Pic @ the W.A.P

Third SD day we went to Sea-world. I can say I was less the impressed based on past memory The shows are to showy not a learning experience. One good shout out to Sea world before the Shamo performance they did give a standing ovation to the past and active military from both the US and its Allies. And in the second performance we were at i was proud to sit by a marine who just returned from Afghanistan. Call us the bad parents but we never really got around to lunch while at seaworld so the kids were starving. So Kerry and her family mine and Christopher and Erin all went to a California favorite In and Out. Not the same as before because now we have them in Utah but non the less delicious.

Star of the show Shamo

Don't between this kid and his shake, he will fight you for it.

Middle Day between Disneyland we went to Universal Studios. I really like it. I enjoy movies and think its fun to go too. Plus I got to see Georgy Frances and thats never a bad thing. There was the live action show that Owen loved. It was a water world theme. Which was a crummy movie but was a good show. I think Owen loves anything with guns, fighting and fire.

Winter probably does not understand the story behind this posted but like a true champ played along for her dad and took the picture.

Now for the big finish, We actually went to California to accomplish three things. Christopher and Erin's wedding, Disneyland and some family pictures on the beach.

Here is the family picture with the Star of the show Mickey

Owen and Dad playing along with the Buzz Lightyear ride. . . . I won

Xavier loved meeting Woody.

Big Sister and Xavier with his first Mickey Ears

Owen and X-Man in the store buying there ears. There is no picture of this but I did buy Owen and Xavier there first Dodger hates. And Xavier summed it up when he said in the store while trying on the hate, "Cute"

Finally the last day we got our family pictures on the beach and met up with Christopher and Erin for the last time before heading home.

We really had a great time. I could not have asked for a better time. Got to spend some time with the people i love the most in the world. Some of the highlights were getting to buy the boys there first Dodger hats, and Mickey ears. Getting to take Xavier on his first real roller coaster. We kinda snuck him on Matterhorn. Spending time with my kids i am sure its cliche to say but i miss my kids and feel I miss a lot int here life but was lucky to get to spend some time with them. Next big trip is Mexico time to start to save again. Even the car ride home was great. Amber, Winter, Zarley, Owen, Xavier I love you and miss you already....

2010-06-22T00:37:00.002-06:00

We had a great time in California. Wish i could share some pictures with you but i spent all day before work looking for my cord to my camera only to give up and come to work. Damn thing was in my desk draw. Sweet i thought. Then i started to look at the pictures and got about 3 pictures into it. And the stupid battery died. Damn! Pictures tomorrow.

thoughts for thursday

2010-06-03T00:07:00.002-06:00

I just thought I would try something new today and just put some of my random thoughts down.

1. why does everyone in the blogging world try to pretend that everything is always perfect? I get the whole look for the good in life but really sometimes life just sucks!

2. How is that you could be in the worst mood ever and irritated like no other and a the huge cheesy smile followed by a hug from your toddler can just make it all better.

3. what makes my husband, who thinks I am crazy, vacuum the mattress at 10:30 at night before putting new sheets on just to appease me. (thanks )

4. what is wrong with people these days nobody is ever satisfied with anything, services given, favors done, we don't even stick to commitments we ourselves make, How the hell are our children going to turn out?

5. were our parents as naive as we are as parents. I think every parent thinks their kids are the best the smartest the cutest the nicest, and whenever something bad happens it wasn't my kid or my kid wouldn't do that... Really? do we really believe that are we really that stupid?

6. does anyone else feel like as they get older they lose part of their selves that they sometimes really miss? why does that happen?

7. you know what really bugs me, Kiss asses, especially when there is no apparent reason for the ass kissing. People either like you for who you are or they don't, so stop trying so hard.

8. Why do people say they will do something for you when it is more than clear that they really dont want to do the favor? isnt it better to just say sorry not this time? I to am guilty of this at times and it drives me crazy and I dont know why I do it... guilt I guess.

Well I guess that's all that's on my mind for now thanks!

Mother’s Day 2010

2010-05-22T01:04:00.010-06:00

So for Mothers day I was trying to think outside the box. Something that my mom would need.And not be boring and Lame at the same time. One weekend we were eating lunch and when we eat outside during the Summer we all try to squeeze onto the nice glass table that my mom and dad have. And it’s the same routine all the time. The parents get the kids dinner/lunch ready and have them start while we make our own plate. So by the time we have made our plate all the kids have taken up there spots at the glass table. And what is supposed to be a family lunch turns into the kids at the table and a few lucky adults who get table spots and then rest are spread out. My mom has been talking about getting something for the kids for some time now.So it dawned on me that it would be a great idea t o “Build” my mom a picnic table. So I talked to my Dad before because he would need to assist and also it would be left to him to move around the picnic table when it came time to mow the lawn. So his approval was needed. Once I sealed his approval I got my mom some shorts and a shirt and talked to her about this table. It took some convincing from Kerry to help convince my mom. So the next week I would be building her a table. Winter and Zarley and Amber had solo’s the night before and a Dance compation the day of the great build so it was a perfect chance for me and the boys to build something together. As a side note Amber and I got Owen some home depot stuff for x-mas that he loves to play with. I was excited to say the least about the opportunity to use some real tools. Saturday had come and my dad was prepared for a day with the little boys.Here are some pics. You can see in the back ground of one of the pics the finished product.

Xavier taking his turn to hit it.

X-man kept saying mmm turn, mmm turn

"Always look what your doing Xav"

Good picture of the finished product.

" Safety First!"

Finally Big brothers turn

Happy Mothers days, Mom, Amber, Kerry

Mike

ole times

2010-04-01T01:52:00.012-06:00

no idea where this was taken

Owen going down the slide at the koa in Bear Lake I believe
one of my favorite pictures, Owen and Zarley playing in the front
yard with a sprinkler. Owen is actually trying to spray me

Winter and Grandad falling off the back of the boat
Amber, winter, and Zarley at the beach on Half Moon cay
after Kerry and Jeramie's wedding. It is really that beautiful

So these are all Pictures Mike chose out, just from going through old pictures, and he put them on the blog for me to write about but there really isn't much to say, just some old memories and cute pictures of some of the cutes damn kids ever .

Zarley and her broken arm

2010-03-10T18:10:00.018-07:00

Zar at insta care getting a splint

Zar thrilled as can be about the whole thing
Zar at primary children's casting clinic getting her
permanent cast.

outside the clinic, looking ever so happy still.
Finally a smile, when she got an ice cream treat for

being so good.

So Monday night the kids were playing just before bedtime, Cheerleader and Basketball player, hence the cute outfit in the first photo's I just said to them 15 more min, while I was cleaning up after baths and stuff they were in the boys room playing when all the sudden Zar starts crying I went in and asked what happened she said she hurt her arm on the floor, I asked how she said she jumped off the toy box, while doing a toe touch. I told her she would be fine she ran to her bed crying that it hurt, now although Zar can cry forever when having a fit she doesn't usually cry much due to injury so I went in looked at it thinking that would calm her down, it was swelling and had some uneven lumps on the sides, I thought oh great, Winter was at dance so I text Mike telling him to come home (which is funny because I told him that I was going to call him home because I wasn't feeling well, which is actually a bit of an inside joke at the expense of one of his co workers. ) we debated back and forth for a while if we should take her or not, you know not wanting to be that crazy mom who takes their kid in for every little thing when there is nothing wrong, against being that mean mom who says your fine when you actually aren't. Finally Mike said better safe than sorry so he was on his way, then we thought going to insta care was better it would save us money. Mike got there about 5 min before they closed and said the desk attendant was less than thrilled, I got there a few minutes later and they quickly took her back, they did some x-rays the Dr. came back and said the x-rays confirmed what she thought she broke the 2 bones in her wrist. So they splint it and sent us home. Zarley is not happy about any of this and getting her to school on Tuesday was less than fun. She did not want to go at all she put one arm in her jacket and had Mike zip it up, I walked her into class because she was crying and unwilling to go, I told the teacher and told her how Zar didnt want to talk about it. Needless to say I left her kicking and screaming on the floor because she didn't want to be there, poor teacher, I love her. She didn't take her jacket off all day, and wouldn't dance at all that night, nor would she talk about it to anyone. She said to me " I decided to say it's a long story, even though it really isn't" I laughed. Wednesday we went to get her awesome pink cast and she is warming up to the whole thing a little, she did let some people sign her cast. Doesn't that make them look so gross and dingy? Oh well right? If that's what will get her to not be freaking out about the whole thing than sign away!

I have always thought Zarley would be our first one to break something, she has never had any fear, So I guess this is inevitable. We bought this cool thing to go over her arm for baths and swimming, they do have waterproof things, to go under the cast if anyone is wondering but insurance doesn't usually cover it so they don't offer it, they told me I could buy this thing for 40 bucks at the Salt Lake running co. or pay 40 bucks for the waterproof gauzey thing that goes underneath. So we decided to buy the cover thinking maybe it will come in handy with two little boys coming up behind her.

My Endless Love...

2010-02-24T00:00:00.002-07:00

So mike and I got married 9 years ago so I decided I will put down 9 things that I have learned about mike over the last 9 years. 1. I learned that Mike is more of a Jackass than I originally thought, to bad right?

2. I learned when you go on vacation with Mike you must always

bring the first aid kit he always needs it. If you look closely at this
picture you will see a huge rope burn on his neck from tubing at
Lake Powell. (by the way one of my fav pics of him and winter)

3. I have learned that he is like freaking gumbi, hard to tell in this
picture but he is down in like a tripod picking up something

off the floor for a silly game we played. It's creepy to that

flexible especially for a guy.

4. I was lucky in a sense that before we got married I knew that Mike was going to be a good dad because I got to see before we got married, 3 more kids later and he has not disappointed at all.
5. I learned that Mike can throw a punch and that competitive team sports bring out a side in Mike that I didn't know was there before we got married. He played hockey for awhile with my brother and his brother and he was always in the penalty box.

6. He will protect his family at any cost and hockey also taught me that about him, most of his penalties came from him trying to make sure he had Evans back.

mike and Owen

Mike and Xavier

me pregnant with Owen
7. I learned that in tough times Mike is who I want by my side, getting our kids was a challenge for awhile with lots of miscarriages and he couldn't have been better at that time.

mike at the beach

8. I have learned that Mike is all about a good time and great fun to take with on any vacation.

Lake at Yellowstone (Jenny lake I think)

Mike and Winter

9. I have learned that life is an adventure and good or bad being with someone who makes you laugh is exactly who I want by my side, even if they aren't as funny as they think they are.

p.s. I accidentally deleted a few pictures so I will try to fix that in the morning.

All I needed to know about my Wife and Kids I learned at Boondocks

2010-02-07T15:08:00.001-07:00

So once a weekend Amber and I try and take the kids out of the house as a family night out. Usually we try to do the most with the least amount of money. This weekend we decided to take the kids to Boondocks. As information this is a place that has a video arcade, Mini Golf laser tag. That sort of thing. Well they have a big play area that the has some slides and some things to jump on. We thought this was a great idea to get some energy out of the kids. So we pay the 6 dollars to get both Zarley and Owen and X-man in. Well the little climb things to get to the slide are about up to Xavier's chest. So Zarley his big sister starts lifting him up these step things so he can climb and get to the top. Really a big sister moment. Usually Winter does all the big sister things but this time Winter was baby sitting. I was very proud to see Zarley step into the role.

This portion of our story is brought to you via Amber I was not around, its still me telling the story but this is a story she told me, well half if it I was there for the second half. So once Xavier had figured out how to get to the top by himself he is getting up there. Amber said there were these little girls pushing him out of the way so they could go down the slide. So this is the part I show up for. When the little girls get to the bottom of the slide. Amber walks over there and yells at them not to touch her baby. Very proud of Amber for sticking up for her baby.

Finally Owen and Xavier decide they want to go up the slide the wrong way, well Owen is just flying up the slide the wrong way but Xavier is struggling. No need to worry, big brother to the rescue. Owen sees what the problem is with Xavier his socks are on. So Owen rips off Xavier's socks throws them to me and off he goes up the slide with his little brother in tow.

Every once and while you have these moments in time when you realize how lucky I have it in life. I don't have money, I now don't have hockey. But I am so lucky to have the wife I do and the four kids who I do. Things money cant buy and plenty of people would give up everything they have in life for what I have. This was not meant to be a anniversary post for Amber but she has brought all these things into my life and I am so lucky to have her and the kids she has brought into the world for me.

- Mike

P.S. sorry for the crappy pictures but they were all i have with me

Happy Happy Birthday Zar Zar Dear...

2010-01-10T23:46:00.004-07:00

So today is Zarley's 6th birthday, I swear time is just flying by, it is so depressing sometimes. We had a crazy weekend with a wedding and everything that goes with that but I didnt want to forget Zarley's birthday tribute however I will have to add more tomorrow.

Zarley is a very unique girl who has the determination and stubbornness of no one I have ever met before, which I am hoping takes her very far in life, the more time that goes by the more I wonder if it took us so long and so many miscarriages to get her because she was just being stubborn, she was going to come on her time perhaps?As difficult as she can be at times she can be as equally hilarious and we can always say that she always keeps things interesting, we will never have boring lives with her in it. She is fierce and tender all at the same time. Watching her grow into a one of a kind girl has been stressful and entertaining so far and we cant wait for more, (well that depends on her mood).

You Say It's Your Birthday

2009-12-14T21:27:00.022-07:00

I cant believe Winter is 12, what happened to my sweet nice little girl? She is growing up way to fast and thinks she is even older than she is, so sad one day she will wish she was 12 again. I am very amazed at the girl that she is turning into though, She is very funny and very smart and has an amazing ability to make friends and make people feel welcome. Not a talent I share. She is a beautiful dancer as well and really puts her all into that, I love to watch her dance and hope she continues to work as hard at achieving all she wants in life as she has this year in dance. I wasn't sure what life was going to hold for her and I just 12 years ago but I am very pleased with where things have gone and the amazing girl that she is. Happy Birthday Winter, I love you

Our first picture together

(the one that mike says it notflattering for me, always so sweet.)

Winter getting ready to go home from hospital

Such a cute baby, so funny and sweet, wonder what happened.

Winters first dance class, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Zarley and Winter, normal interaction for them

One of winters famous self portraits,

There are 33 others where this one came from.

answers...

2009-12-04T12:00:00.004-07:00

so here are my answers...

1. my happy place is the beach, which includes the beach of Lake Powell.

2. Tom Sellick (of course), Ed Harris, Val Kilmer. apparently I like old men

3. Duh Real all the way none of that fake shit at our house.

4. Moon Dance (Van Morrison), Eagle and a Hawk (John Denver), Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond). I am really aging myself, and sadly aging myself beyond my years.

5. 16 almost 17. that's right folks I was almost 17.

6. There are 2 one when I puked while having a c-section (Owen totally creepy feeling), More recently Zarley yelling Bitch in the Dr. office.

7. Red, an easy one

8. Msc, (taking pics of documents with some big machine thing, or babysitting I guess.

9. Mella was her nameo

10. I want to go on an Alaskan cruise and don't know why, I really prefer the heat.

A little quiz, who knows me best?

2009-12-02T22:21:00.002-07:00

So I am testing everyone to see who knows me best, so who ever dares to leave your answers as a comment...

1. where is my happy place?
2. Name 3 celebs I think are hot?
3. Christmas trees real or fake?
4. Name 3 of my favorite songs any 3
5. How old was I when I had my first kiss?
6. Whats my most embarrassing moment?
7. Whats my favorite color?
8. what was my first job?
9. what was the name of my imaginary friend?
10. where do I want to go on vacation for some unknown reason?

Stay tuned and I will post my answers, and we will see who knows me best.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T23:45:00.003-07:00

So Thanksgiving is one of my very favorite holidays, and it seems like it gets skipped over a lot of the time. I hate when Christmas music is playing before Thanksgiving, it seems like we are turning into ungrateful people and this is a much needed holiday in this day in age.

I feel like lately I have been mostly focusing on the negative in my life so this post is something I really needed to do because there really is a lot I am thankful for.
I am thankful for Mike and our family, and how hard he works to support us.
I amt thankful for all my kids even though we have had a rough time of it lately I wouldn't trade any of them in. I am thankful for Winter and all the help she gives me. Sometimes it feels like she is co-parenting with me and although I appreciate it I know I don't tell her enough. I am thankful forZarley, her stubbornness and her quirky personality. Although right now it feels like her stubbornness is going to be the death of me some days I am hoping it will take her far in life. She has real determination that could take her wherever she wants to go. I am thankful for Owen because he is just sweet and mellow and doesn't rock the boat. He is also funny. I am thankful for Xavier because he is my baby and such a cute little baby. He knows what he wants and docent seem like he is going to be one to settle for anything less.
I am very thankful for my in-laws they are always taking my kids to do new and fun things. Like Disney on Ice or trans Siberian orchestra, or Wheeler farm for whatever holiday thing they have going on. They take my kids everywhere and give them so many opportunities they wouldn't otherwise have. Not to mention all they have and continue to do for Mike and myself.
I am very thankful for my parents and the determination to get through things that they have shown me, they have proven that two people can get through any trial or tribulation if they really want to. I am so glad for the memories and traditions that they gave us growing up they have set a firm foundation for all of us on how we think holidays should go that's for sure.
I am thankful for the country we live in and the freedoms we enjoy and for all the military men and women who put their lives on the line for us to keep those freedoms.
I really do love Thanksgiving and all that it should mean and hope that everyone has a good holiday and remembers all that we have to be thankful for.

The Fabulous life of me cont...

2009-11-23T21:51:00.005-07:00

Just some random pictures from times the kids got there hands on the camera.

Zarley and Owens self portrait

Zar taking a pictue of Xavier

I am very happy to report that we have been having a easier time of it lately,(knocking on wood right now).I'm not sure if it's a phase or the I-pod thing at night working or a mixture of it all. Don't get me wrong life isn't all birthdays and bbq's around here but its tolerable I'm not ready to hop in my car ALONE and drive away. We have had a few melt downs and some naughty words but everything is mellowing out a bit. Ahh I feel I can breath for a minute.

I am so proud of Winter right now, she set a goal to earn $250.00 by the 28th and she only had about 2 1/2 weeks to do it and she did it. Thanks to her Grandma Sharon and her Grandad who gave her some jobs to do and also paid her handsomely to do them. She is also proud of herself for accomplishing this and that is nice to see. She also has put her heart and sole into dance this year and has been working really hard, I can tell she is tired, but she doesn't give up and that also makes me very proud. Now if I could just get her to clean her room.
Owen Has been great lately although he seems to be crying this loud screaming whine a lot more and it is super annoying. But for the most part seems to always be the mellow one who doesn't upset things to much.

Xavier, still my hip growth that makes monkey signs, oh so annoying. But he is stinking cute.

I had a Revelation today too, I know why my house is always in such chaos and even though I feel like I am always cleaning and never getting anywhere.. Friday night I start to feel like things are finally looking organized etc.. then sat am at 6:30 I go to work, and work all day same thing on Sunday and when I come home complete disaster, So here's the Revelation.. Monday comes and I start all over again playing catch up to get back to where I was on Friday night, so annoying.

This week in my fabulous life...

2009-11-18T20:29:00.003-07:00

So this week in my fabulous life, Things aren't getting much better but I'm still trudging through. Zar isn't getting much better with the whole potty mouth thing, or her fits, she screamed in my mother in laws face this weekend which was embarrassing to say the least, her fits are getting worse those that she use to save for home are starting to appear in public and around others. So we went back on track this week so not expecting things to get any better any time soon unfortunately. Tried chili powder in her mouth and as I anticipated it didn't work. The result was her screaming in a demon like voice that I was a bitch and stupid blah blah blah. why was she having a fit you ask? oh because I wouldn't give her ice cream because she had been saying bad words. Not only was she screaming and swearing but she was spitting everywhere. Bedtime has gotten to be quite a task as well she told me that bedtime isn't easy for her because she hears things at night and cant go to sleep. So Monday night she was screaming and crying about again ice cream I calmly laid by her rubbing her back til she fell asleep. That was very difficult.
Tuesday, oh what a day. It started off terribly which was just the beginning if only I had known I think I would have stayed in bed all day. Zarley wouldn't get up or get dressed I tried several times to put her clothes on her myself but with no success, luckily Mike got home and he held her while I dressed. Pretty sad when it takes team work to dress your 5 year old. Later that day her friend Jaxon was over playing and Canyon was over while his mom was at dance and they all decided to give each other haircuts. Oh and Xavier as well and they cut Owens sheets to shreds. What was I doing you ask? Folding laundry trying to do one of the weekly or daily chores of a mother on a rare moment where someone isnt in my face whining and crying for something, thinking the kids were playing nicely. I asked them what they were doing and they said nothing. Stupid me I believed them. Xavier has been horrible lately he just wants me to hold him all the time, him and his little blanky. So since he wasn't screaming and holding onto me like a little monkey sounds and all, I thought I would get something done, Big Big mistake. Canyon got the worst of it, his hair all had to be chopped off and he now has a super short haircut, and Jaxon has a big chunk out of his bangs, looks great. Owen has almost a bald spot to fix it the only thing I think that would work is a buzz, not going to happen. Zarley just has a lot of uneven parts in the back still debating a stacked bob to fix hers. Xavier well his is all uneven to. Great mom right. The rest of the night was all right until bedtime I laid down by Zarley again and I think I fell asleep first.
Wednesday still struggling on how to handle the swearing and fit throwing, no consequence seems to phase her, I've tried throwing away toys when she says bad words, she just goes and gets a barbie herself and throws it away, tried giving her jobs to do, she doesn't care, tried the chili powder, resulted in worse swearing and spitting. I'm at a loss right now and starting to feel like throwing in the towel.. I don't know what is going on with her and having a hard time figuring it out. I asked her today what would help her be nicer and not say bad words. she said: "Not ever going to school again."
We are trying something new tonight for bedtime I gave her my I-pod and some headphones so she wouldn't hear the noises, so I guess we will see how it goes, She is still awake right now but no noise coming from her room.
So any ideas anyone? I am listening. until next time...

The Fabulous life of me cont...

2009-11-12T22:46:00.001-07:00

This week in my fabulous life it wasn't so crazy thank goodness.
11/9 Monday, quiet day thinking oh my life is calming down, yea
11/10 Tuesday oh not so quiet, it was observation for parents at dance, wow what a treat! Zarley couldn't have been more poorly behaved. She butted in line she pulled peoples hair she interrupted, very embarrassing, Tiffany said she isn't always like that but wow what a treat. A little later we are talking about the fact that she has a Dr. appt the next day, big mistake she flipped out. Screaming and yelling in her little raspy voice, " I am not going to the Dr. ever again never never again. No one is looking at my tonsils you stupid butt@$@# I am not going" all while throwing things around. Such a treat.
11/11 wed Not much better. Cute Carlye offers to take her to backyard adventures with her, then last minute also takes Owen (thanks Carlye your the best). When I arrive to pick them up to head to the E.N.T. what to my surprise but a flip out from Zarley, it can't be she doesn't do this. (ha Ha ). So she cries all the way to the Dr. and then has to be carried into the office. Now we are seeing the doctor, she isn't flipping out but she isn't cooperating. My sweet Owen offers to have his looked at so then Zarley will let the physician asst. look, great news she needs her tonsils out. Wahoo right! a week or so of Zarley miserable can't wait. Oh gee I wonder how much this will set us back. What more good news they will take out the last tube that's been in there for 3 years while she is under, Fantastic that shouldn't add much to our bill right. Would you like cash for that? Now the actual Dr. is in a male have I mentioned she isn't really fond of males. I have to hold her for him to do the exam, life is so wonderful.. So we leave and she decide to inform us that she is not having surgery. Well this ought to be a fun few weeks before it happens she is already stressing. Now on our way home she decides she is hungry and she wants Ihop, and is having a screaming fit because we are not going. hmm shocker. Later Tiffany is paying Winter for some teaching she has done and Zarley decides that she wants some money $79.00 to be exact another fit ridiculous fit for $79.00. Where the hell did this number come from? I have no idea. Also Xavier not feeling to well and just wants me to hold him all day, that really makes for a productive day.
11-12 Mostly a quiet day at first, a few fights with friends and some evil yelling and mean talk,so unlike her. Later Xavier is crying still not feeling up to par and she tells him to be quiet unless he wants her to break his arm? Are you kidding me where does this stuff come from. She is kicking and screaming at the door because I won't let her in,don't mind its 5:00 and I'm finally taking a shower for the day, apparently I didn't clear that with the boss. Now the meltdown is because she wants ice cream for dinner and I am the worst mom ever, how dare I. Then she tells me she just want to have a bad night, why I ask her, because she just wants to. Oh OK then. We actually ended on a fairly good note. Oh to live another day, I wonder what is in store for us tomorrow?

This week in the Fabulous life of... Me

2009-11-09T11:40:00.002-07:00

So we are dating back to the October 30th to start this week in the fabulous life of me..
10-30-09: out to dinner for my brothers birthday and get a call from Winter, sorry mom Zarley locked herself in the bathroom and cut her hair! Ahhh are you kidding me?
11-02-09: Owen and friend cover my entry way with dirt from my plant. And I do mean cover.
11-03-09: Take kids to the Dr. and Zarley yells the word "bitch " total humiliation.
11-04-09: Take Zarley to the eye doc and she is completely uncooperative and just yells out random letters and keeps yelling "no" to him. A good reading on her progress? Uh that would be a no.
11-05-09: few minor fits from Zarley and many messes from little boys, is the week turning around?
11-06-09 Zarley throws a major fit at the zoo, embarrassing? just slightly.
11-07-09 Zarley throws another fit while her dad picks her up from a friends where she slept over. Do these people know how to parent? Do they have any control over that child? The answer to that is um No. Later that evening Zarley throws another fit while getting dropped off at her cousins house to be babysat. "hey can you do me this huge favor by babysitting oh and by the way my child will throw a huge fit when I leave have fun and thanks." So sorry Danielle and Nat.
11-08-09: Get a call at work from Winter "mom zarley is throwing things at us, cars and other things, and yelling swear words at us, what am I suppose to do" ahh what do I do with her? Oh I call and ask my sister to take her for the day so that no one gets hurt. Reward for her? maybe? sanity for everyone else.
Finally got our car into the repair shop and it will just cost $750.00 to fix. And this concludes the fabulous life of me.. Stay tuned for more in the Fabulous life of me.

Complete humilation, with yourself to blame.

2009-11-03T21:21:00.003-07:00

So I was completely and totally humiliated and unfortunately I probably have only myself well and Mike to blame. We went to the Dr. office to check Owens tonsils to see if he should see a E.N.T. or not bla bla right, well let me mention that Zarley has been in full Pia mode for about 3 weeks now. And just this morning before the Dr. I made a new rule certain words said in our house will result in a job due to the potty mouths we have had as of late, Zar being the worst. OK so back to the Dr. we are sitting in the room waiting on the Dr. when Owen decides to go full UFC on Xavier and wrestle him to the ground resulting in a ear piercing shriek from xman and oh yea a bloody nose. So I'm bribing the kids with a trip to the gas station for a treat if they are good thinking this is going to work right? No, So the bloody nose is under control the Dr. comes in and we are actually going through the visit pretty well, when Zarley decides to scream out "bitch". That's right my adorable little girl is swearing in the Dr. office I thought I was going to die. So I tell her she has a job to do and the Dr tries to explain to her that that word is not nice and hurts peoples feelings. Just when you think its over the worst visit ever I break the news to them sorry no gas station for you guys, and this results in full melt down screaming from Owen. I'm starting to wonder why I ever venture out in public with my children.
So who is to blame probably me and my potty mouth and Mike and his. Now there is karma biting me right in the butt! right?

Pick your battles!

2009-10-28T12:00:00.001-06:00

So getting Zarley ready for school is usually not an easy or fun task, she usually lays around throws a fit etc... On this particular morning she got ready quite easily and was ready to go to school. Her hair not combed and these adorable brown and white polka dot leggings, not so adorable with the blue and white striped shirt she paired them with. So here comes the pick your battles part. Do you let her go to school looking like this when usually getting her off to school is not a easy task or do you pick this as one of your battles? I picked it as a battle. What the picture doesn't show is that she still has the leggings on under the skirt. but her hair did get fixed and the leggings weren't quite so noticeable. Wow she has such a sense of fashion doesn't she?

notice she isn't as happy in these as she
was in her own choice.

The moment he has waited for/ The moment she dreads

2009-10-27T21:09:00.003-06:00

So anybody who knows Mike knows he loves hockey and cant wait for his boys to play, I however do not share this enthusiasm. I would like my cute little boys to have teeth. However this Sept Owen discovered all of Mikes hockey sticks in the garage. He really liked to play with me, we would hit a ball back and forth and I have to say he is pretty good. It was really a nice way to enjoy the last couple of warm summer weeks. I wanting my boy to keep his teeth hope he doesn't remember how much he liked it come spring. However today would much rather be outside playing hockey with my 3 yr old then be inside freezing as the first snow of the year hits.

Zarley played a little to.

Xavier enjoyed it to, but the sticks were a bit

to long for him

what makes you sad?

2009-09-15T22:18:00.005-06:00

You know how when your kids hurt your hurt right? Well since school started I have noticed that Zarley seems to be having a hard time adjusting, Her infamous fits have started back up which is always hard on everyone and very trying of my patience. Her sight seems to have set her back a bit trying to adjust to how things are really suppose to look. ( a issue I have a lot of guilt about, not knowing your child cant see can do that to you). Anyway this afternoon a neighbor girl told me that she saw Zarley crying at recess and that she wanted me, this broke my heart, I asked her about it and she said she didn't have anyone to play with (her buddy Jackson was home sick) Everyday is a fight she doesn't want to go to school and after school she is sad because she doesn't have anyone to play with. All the other girls in the neighborhood have afternoon kindergarten and when they are home they don't seem to get a long with her any way they as they like to tell her are "popular" and she is not. All these things just make me want to cry, she is a funny little firecracker if you take the time to know her and I hate seeing her struggle and such a little age. How do you know when to step in and when your being a mother hen? I have to give a shout out to Maddie one of her favorite cousin I'm sure, she will play with her when the other kids won't she takes her to Walgreens on her scooter and they often have sleepovers together its so cute! I haven't ever had this problem with Winter she seems to make friends everywhere she goes so if anyone has any experience with this I'm listening.

what makes you feel old?

2009-09-08T22:32:00.011-06:00

So today I took Xavier to his 15 month appointment and started thinking wow 15 months already, where has the time gone, then I started thinking I am getting old. Then I started running down the list of things that make me feel old.

winter to big to dance in the rain

Zarley old enough to dance in the rain

Xav figuring out a power wheel

Zarley learning to ride a 2 wheeler

Zarley doing her first homework assignment

Owen going out the door for first day of preschool

first school picture by the apple tree

Owen walking into school

Owen and Jackson coming out to the car after

there first day of preschool! They had a good time

They told me they rode bikes in the sand, and played

batman with capes. They were so cute!

As cute as they were this only added to my oh my gosh I am getting old, not to mention I took Zarley to her first day of dance for the year. She is on the mini team this year so she will go to competitions and stuff. I just think she is still to little but apparently not. So I ask what makes you feel old?

Mike

2009-08-26T23:15:00.002-06:00

So I was blogging about Zars first day of school and texting Mike at the same time, because that's how we communicate, he asked if I was blogging about him, I said no, he asked why and I said because its not all about you. So then I decided to give him a shout out. The above picture is Mike with Owen and Xavier at Lake Powell this last weekend.
Mike took the 3 little kids to Lake Powell along with the rest of the Howard clan Winter had school and dance try outs and I had work so we stayed home. Not nearly as fun I know. Thanks Mike your the best.
So I am home alone most the time because Win had school and of course lives in her own world, I thought I would take advantage of my time and do some cleaning and much needed organizing. Amazingly What I cleaned stayed that way, there was none of the below:
1. No little people following you as you clean messing everything up.
2. No little fingerprints to wipe off the walls appliances windows etc...
3 NO huge size 12 shoes to trip over when you walk in the door because that's where they were kicked off.
4. NO dirty clothes sitting on the bathroom floor.
5. No clean clothes on the bedroom floor because that's where clean clothes go right. Dirty clothes go either on the bathroom floor or if I'm lucky they go into the laundry basket.
6. No pile of Mikes pocket remnants on the kitchen counter, where he empties them.
7. Worst of all when I came home from work the kitchen sink was not full of dirty dishes, the counter wasn't covered in what was left from breakfast and lunch.
8. MY bed wasnt a jumbled mess when I went to get in it, it stayed mostly made.
The truth is I actually was quite bored when I was home. I missed Mike and the kids more than I thought I would. I thought I would enjoy it more instead I kind of missed all the things that drive me so crazy on a regular basis. Thanks for the time alone. I love you.

My Zarley the kindergartner

2009-08-26T22:42:00.006-06:00

So Zarley started kindergarten this week, at 8:30am none the less still not sure what I was thinking with the am schedule. Oh well right no more 10 am rising for us any more.

Ready to walk to school for the first time

me carrying her after she tripped on the way

Standing in front of school. She is so cute!

Waiting in line to go in. No I didn't cry !

One of my all time favorite Lake Powell trips

2009-08-20T12:26:00.032-06:00

So we did our Lake Powell trip this year it kind of ended up being a sisters trip plus the tweens, seeing that only my parents, Josh and his fam and Troy, Blanca and Auggie were the only ones unable to make it this time. We missed having everyone but we all had a great time.

Mike and I left thurs am (3 am, not to difficult for us seeing Mike has a crazy schedule). When we got there we had breakfast and Mike slept in the car for awhile, then we headed out for the dreaded spot finding job. Most of the day was spent doing this, such pressure trying to find a spot for everyone, that will be good enough. Mike was loosing patience probably due to the lack of sleep. Poor guy! So we finally got everything set up and we were getting ready to go out and finally enjoy the wonders of Lake Powell when the wind kicked up and our tent blew over and the EZ up started to blow away ahh! While trying to get the tent back up we realized the poles had snapped and there was no way it was going to stay up, the sky was turning black and we werent sure what we were going to do for shelter. The water was rough the sky black and we were sure we were doomed for the night. Not to mention Winters crazy fear of storms. We didnt think it would be a good idea to make the 30 min trip back to the marina, then I got the fantastic idea of putting the ez up into our tent to at least hold the tent up for the night. We had made plans to meet everyone else at the Marina early in the morning and show them the way to our spot. We figured if we could make it through the night we could go to walmart in Page in the am for a new tent. Luckily it workd not the most comfortable but it was shelter. At this point mike was completely frusterated, yelling about the @$%##@ day and what a waste. Poor Owen got yelled at for being a whiney @$$%#$@. He then realized that things could only get better from here and his mood started to improve (for the record I thought he was doing fine considering the amount of sleep he had gotten maybe 2 hrs he is the one that said he was bad.) Anyway the sky cleared a little and the night actually ended up being pretty nice and we even went out for an evening swim.

Mike was right things only got better from there we got a new tent in the am everyone else came and we all had a really great time. We went to Rainbow Bridge which was really fun. We all tried surfing which most of us loved I believe. Even Winter tried it usually she has to be forced to try things she has a lot of fear, that I dont understand. Anyway we did a lot of tubing wake boarding etc... There was the ever famous "king of the Molecule " as it was this year . So much fun ( previous yrs it has been king of the water tramp etc..) It was so much fun I can't wait for next yr..

To all my campsite buddies, Hey whats your moodring?

the car ride down

Really Winter ? who wears those things?

Owen and xav wrestling inside the tent inside the tent

doesnt it look cozy inside?

some king of the molecule going on
Shawna, Mike, and Zar on the tube
Some more king of the molecule, Mitch losing
Xav cheesing it up
The walk to Rainbow Bridge, This is actually Mike
trying to teach Hayden how to put the moves on a girl
What a great uncle right?!

Fam picture at Rainbow Bridge
Shawna and Madz, the boys making Zar into a mermaid

isnt she a cute mermaid

Surfing adventures, Zar and mike doing it. She was brave

My poor neglected O E O

2009-08-17T22:14:00.010-06:00

Poor Owen hasn't had his birhtday recognition. I'm such a horrible mother. It was a crazy fun filled day. Winter and her friend decorated the house for him the night before then in the morning we opened presents. That afternoon we took him and his best buddies Canyon and Jackson to Mcdonalds for lunch along with the other kids. Then headed back to our house to play for awhile then we went to see UP and took along canyon, Winter's friend jocelyn and Zarley's friend Maggie, What a enjoyable movie let me tell you. Oh I forgot to mention that Mike had his gull bladder out the day before and was suppose to be taking it easy!

Then sunday we wrapped up the bithday festivities with a dinner with my family, thanks again Tom and Tiffany for letting us use your house, ours is just a bit to small.

I had made Owen a number 3 cake and a helmet cake and we didnt get any good pictures of either cake. Horrible mother I tell you.

Our Last first birthday

2009-06-17T00:07:00.009-06:00

Happy 1st birthday Xavier! Our baby turns one its our last first birthday and I found it to be a bit depressing to be totally honest. Mike on the other hand I don't think he thought twice about it.

Xavier eating a doughnut his dad brought home for him for his birthday. Lucky little guy!

This is how much he cared about presents, he is playing with the ball we got him why the other kids fight about opening his presents.

His cute little #1 cake I made for just him to eat and Zar trying to get him to eat it. He wasn't very interested in sticking his hands in the cake and just having at it. I finally got a spoon to try to at least get him to taste it and then maybe make a big mess but that sort of blew up in my face. He just wanted to eat his cake with a spoon. What one yr old doesn't just dig in. Owen wasn't really all about it just being his cake and he was more than happy to just stick his hands in it and eat. the two boys ate most of the cake themselves but ended up sharing some with their cousins. I think

Emme and Annika got a little as well. Not a lot of that little cake went to waste. The rest of the kids had homemade Ice Cream and cupcakes.

So how typical is this, women all in the kitchen talking while the guys are all watching some sporting event on TV. I do believe this was one of the basketball playoff games. Mike made Xavier wait because there was only 38 seconds left (which actually the game went to overtime)before he could open his presents. Good to see he has his priorities straight right? This was with my family. We did Xavs and Owens birthday with the Howard side this last Sunday because Kerry and Grandma Sharon were in England and unfortunately I met mike there after work so I have no pictures of that side. Good thing we can count on grandma for pictures but it does me no good for this blog! Anyways thanks everyone for all the gifts he sure made out well especially in sand toys which if it ever stops raining I know he will get a lot of use out of them all.

spring overview

2009-06-16T22:51:00.015-06:00

I know its about jtime right? we had a pretty busy spring whick of course started off with competition season and our annual triop to St George for a dance competition. Over all the dance season went pretty well. Almost all of Winters dances took an overall award at atleast one competition and Winter won queen in her solo once.

before we went home we took the kids to fiesta family fun and played mini golf. Owen really loved he played all 18 holes.

Easter came and went we did the same old traditions, dying eggs, easter hunt with cousins and grandparents, easter baskets. Then Zarley started T-ball with Canyon and Lila that was always fun depending on Zars mood that day. All in all she can hit pretty well and got the concept of running the bases I think most of all she liked the treats after the games.

Zar and her pink bat the only bat her and Lila liked to use.

Owen took Xavier for his first jeep ride and Xav absolutely loved it he just laughed and laughed especially when Owen would drive over the curb.

So the preschool does this cute little graduation program for the kids leaving for kindergarten, they wear these cute little cap and gowns and get their own little diplomas to. It was so cute and sad all at the same time I cant believe Zarley is going to kindergarten and Owen will be in preschool. I will take kids to preschool for a good 6 straight years. How lucky am I?

Zar getting her diploma, shaking hands.

Is this not the cutest? Earlier they even get photos taken that you can order of them in the cap and gown. 2 kids down 2 to go!

Happy Anniversary 8 crazy years!

2009-02-24T11:15:00.007-07:00

Most of the wedding party My two best friends and Mikes best friend and brother
cute cute winter

Me and Mike and our delicious
wedding cake. Never had better

Mike taking off my garter, to bad you cant see
the cute dance he did coming towards me.

It is crazy to think it has been eight years, sometimes it feels like a lot longer and sometimes it seems so much shorter. We have been through a lot in eight years lots of ups and downs. Our wedding day was so much fun and I wouldn't change a thing. Thanks mom you really put on a great wedding.

In the last 8 years we have gone through many things together which have definitely made us stronger and at least for me taught me to appreciate Mike for the person he is. We have been through 7 pregnancies together,( 3 kids and 4 miscarriages). 2 presidential elections which always makes for spirited debates is the car and at home or on phone texts to each other at night. We have had a few financial dilemmas to get through and a lot of good memories.

I wouldn't change the last 8 years for anything. Being married to your polar opposite can really help you grow and expand your view points which can never be a bad thing right? I have definitely realized that people see and react to things so completely differently and no matter how strong you think your argument is in some cases there is just no way to get the other person to see your side. I think this has made me much more tolerant of others and I have Mike to thank for that.

With four great and beautiful kids to fill our lives I can't wait to see what the next eight plus years will have in store for us

2009-02-17T05:15:00.005-07:00

My Top Ten pet peeves about Amber

1. When I get home from work in the morning. She is always grumpy. How many people get shushed by their spouse when they try to tell them about the day they had?

2. I always have to drive. Example: A few weeks ago we go to my friends house, to watch a fight. I have a few beers and although she did drive it was like pulling teeth.

3. If the remote is broken I ALWAYS have to be the one to turn off the TV and the way other end of our bed.

4. I am the one who is always to blame for the sheets being messy. I mean I sleep in them for 6 hours. And it’s a long day with 4 kids before she gets back in bed who’s to say they don’t mess up the sheets.

5. (I will be called rude names for this one that start with A and ends with Hole) But I always have to unload the car when we go to Costco. She magically disappears.

6. I always have to pick where we go for dinner. Cause she does not care. But will automatically shoot down my first three suggestions. Really I know this so my first three suggestions really are just pawns walking the plank to there death.

7. The fact that its been somewhere close to 8 years or 95 months or 416 weeks or 2915 days since that fateful day I made one comment that was totally taken out of context and I still am reminded of said statement. “I never liked big butts till I meet you” A complement about her ass has turned into something I cannot live down.

8. I could always count on her to say, “ Hey Mike stop and get me a Pepsi.” No I can’t make it sound like we both want a Pepsi. I miss my Pepsi girl!

9. It’s not your bed, its our bed…. Enough said

10. The fact that I am in love with someone who is a Republican. The same person who would give Bush a high approval rating. At least she had her wits about her enough not to vote for Romney.

P.S. Thanks for holding onto your trade secret until Sunday night.

18 random things about me

2009-02-12T13:40:00.002-07:00

So nothing really happens in January or February so I decided to tell you random things about me that maybe you didn't know before.

Things I love

1. Family, babies especially, (new ones the most) there innocence, and there smell.
2. Summer, the smell of the sun on my skin burning tanning whatever(I know wear sunscreen). Also the smell of the sunscreen soaked into the seats on the boat. The sound of a boat on the water and all the fun that comes along with it.
3. Watching Winter dance, being amazed by her talent I don't know where it came from. Seeing her have fun and knowing that she absolutely loves it.
4. Listening to Zarley play house or barbies hysterical the things she says and how she doesn't care who is listening the things she knows and comes up with are great.
5. Watching Owen watch Spiderman or football(every sport is football) with his dad. Or playing catch in the house with his dad.
6. Watching Xavier watch and laugh at Owen in complete admiration and awe of his brother.
7. Mike, his willingness to work his butt off for our family. Also watching a TV series on DVD ...IE Weeds, Nip Tuck, Entourage, whatever it is laying in bed and watching it with him is so rare that I love it.
8. The ocean the sound the smell the sand, that's my happy place.
9. My parents, my dads amazing talents and building things and his friendship. My mom and how she always tries to show you the other side even if she doesn't necessarily agree with the other side. Memories of her singing, Smokey The Bear especially. Her efforts and always being fair to everyone, what one person gets everyone gets or no one gets. Very much appreciated especially now being a mother. most recently her cakes she made us as kids I had no idea how much work they were.
10. My In-laws. They are always there to help us out when we need it which is appreciated more than we could ever say or show. Also the time they take to spend with the kids and do things with them whether its while helping out by babysitting and doing something fun or just doing something fun with them. I know they will always have fond memories of those times as they grow older like I do because of my grandma doing the same thing.
11. Politics, debates mostly when I feel informed on the issue. I don't know why I love it but I do and talk radio goes along with that.

Things I hate
1. Feeling out of control, no matter what the situation, finances, kids house, messes, I hate feeling like I have no control.
2. Zarley's uncontrollable fits, no way to stop them and again the control issue, she can make me crazy.
3. Mike working all the time and not being home or around for the little things.
4. insincere or mean people. If you want to be nice be nice if you don't just stay away I don't like people doing things because the feel obligated if you don't want to do something say no!
5. Not knowing or having answers for things. Like not being able to help my mom understand why she has the health problems she has there are sometimes no answers and that's frustrating.
6. Bills I hate bills and having to take care of all that it sucks.
7. Getting up at night whatever the reason someone needs help back to bed after going to the bathroom , the dogs want to go out, the baby is crying , I have to go to the bathroom, Hate it just want to sleep through the night cant remember the last time that happened.
8. Valentines, what a lame holiday, and with that getting flowers, really? come on what a waste of money you all know they are going to day in a few days right? go outside to look at them or cut them from outside. Going out to dinner to much stress why wait for 90 min just to eat at Chili's, well that's how I feel about it anyway.
9. People who play games, I guess that goes with say what you mean and mean what you say. I hate it when someone will be nice then oh someone else I like or want to like me is around so now I am going to treat you like crap, that really bugs me. With that people who play favorites. I get that we all click differently with different people but shouldn't we try to be fair to everyone.
10. Being cold, I like the snow at Christmas and I like it in the mountains and wouldn't mind being able to afford to go skiing or snowboarding a couple of times a year but for the most part I hate being cold and walking or driving in the snow I love the sun.
11. People judging situations or people before they have all or any facts. Especially when someone questions your parenting, no I am not parent of the year but is anybody really a perfect parent? And what might work for your kid doesnt mean it will work for mine. More than anything I hate when people who don't have kids try to give advice really what do they know?
With that people who judge for religious reasons, just because someone is mormon doesn't mean that they will dislike someone who is not mormon. I think non religious people are just as judgemental of religious people. It goes both ways and I see the judgement from both sides and that bugs me not all good people go to church every week sometimes the ones that do go are the ones that aren't that nice, and vice versa.

Well thats it hopefully you learned something new about me. If not Oh well I don't really care.

So this is my opinion on the Twilight series

2009-01-21T21:34:00.006-07:00

I ended up taking Winter to the Twilight movie. Movie actually was not that bad. After all the talk of the book I decided I would read the book myself. For two reasons, first to see what all the hype was about and also to try and pry winter away from the TV and show her the enjoyment that can be found in a book. So I set out to read the book and made a deal with Winter. Well Amber actually was part of the deal. Winter and Amber both started reading the books at the same time. If Amber was the first to finish then once Winter finished we would take her to favorite restaurant. If Winter finished first then we would still take her to dinner and also pay for a friend to come along. Well it was a close race and Winter won. But this was a good experience for us to all read the same book and get everyone away from the TV. And we have had a lot of decisions on the book. Funny how there are three different interpretations of the books. So now I am 3 books down and working on the 4th. Amber is 2 books down and just stated the 3rd. I have not seen Amber pick up a book in the 7 almost 8 years we have been married. But she can’t seem to put these ones down. All in all this was a great experience. Totally worth the money we will spend for Winter and her friend.

2009-01-19T22:17:00.002-07:00

So I only have a few hours left to express myself so here it goes. I am a bit anxious for tomorrows big history making day. As much as I didn't want Obama for president he is so I wish him well and hope he does a good job he has a very daunting 4 years ahead of him. I really hope that he is treated with the respect that a president deserves. And isn't disrespected the way that president Bush has been. I am not delusional and I am not saying that President Bush has been great or successful at all he had in front of him. However I thought our government was set up with checks and balances so that not one person had to much power over our great nation. So how is it that every horrible thing to happen is only his fault and no one else has to take any responsibility for it. I hope the same burden isn't put on the next president although I don't think he will ever be scrutinized the same as President Bush has been. So in his last day I just want to say Thanks for keeping our Nation safe for the last 7 years.

January/Zarley's Birthday

2009-01-15T14:50:00.006-07:00

Zarley and Owen playing in the snow. They have
really been enjoying it.

See everyone this is why we dont shovel our
driveway, its an instant sledding hill and we don't
have to go anywhere.

Zarley opening presents. Yes she is always naked
what do you do?

Winter also made her a Z shaped cake

Tinkerbell birthday cake. I'm no Tiffany Baker

So dont mind the imperfections.

Summerizing christmas

2009-01-14T22:39:00.002-07:00

Our christmas was great. We did all the regular traditions and a few new ones. We did the pajama thing christmas eve with both sides mine in the morning where my dad read the story from the bible and then Mikes family at night. Christmas morning was fun we got up and opened presents with just our family its the only time we get together alone it was really nice. Then grandma Kathryn and Granddad came over and had breakfast and we exchanged presents. Then we headed to Grandma Sharons which took us much longer than we thought it would with all the snow. We stayed there for most of the rest of the day opening presents and having christmas dinner. Crackers and all. (an english thing really fun) After dinner we went to Audrey and Dans for the gift exchange with all the siblings and cousins. Natalie made xavier a really cute hockey blanket. Thanks Nat! everyone else got really great gifts as well. Thankyou everyone on both sides we always get way to much! That about says it all, OH except mike did get a new TV to replace the one owen broke when he threw a train at it all thank you so much David and Sharon!